Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
enabling information
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 519123" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>And doesn't it depend on who your doing it for and what point they are at? I would not have ordered the food but invited them over to eat-same thing. We would not hesitate to help our pcs if they needed a hand. I cosigned for my son's first loan to buy a car. He paid on time and got it paid off early. I knew he would. My parent's would not have even done that. easy child doesn't ask for anything. He has given us money to help pay for difficult child treatment without us asking. Now difficult child on the other hand.....</p><p></p><p>And when is a mental illness so bad that you have to step in? When I go to NAMI (have not in awhile), there is enabling all over the place because there is a belief that they can't do somethings for themselves. When do you know they can't? How do you know? Is it incapacity or is it unwillingness? Is it addiction?</p><p></p><p>Is giving my daughter rides to work enabling? Is buying her first pair of workshoes at age 17 enabling? When I advocated for treatment instead of jail time for her at age 15 and 16 was that enabling? I don't know!</p><p></p><p>I was told in court by the state Residential Treatment Center (RTC) people that I enabled when I finially jumped in and told the nurse that my difficult child had to have her 3 month blood test for her thyroid. difficult child had asked and asked and nothing was done-it was 1 month over due-but I was enabling!</p><p></p><p>I don't think it is black and white and I don't think it is the same for every parent and kid. I try to think is this for the good of the whole? Is this doing for her what she could do for herself? Is this just doing what a normal parent would do for a 17 year old, and how might it be different for my difficult child? (Like giving money which I would never do for difficult child or dealing with medical issues which I think we should do no matter what when they are minors).</p><p></p><p>At FA it is dicey-many parents are in different stages and this question comes up every week. Last time someone asked if it was enabling to give their difficult child a ride to their 12 step meeting. Some said yes and others said no???</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 519123, member: 11001"] And doesn't it depend on who your doing it for and what point they are at? I would not have ordered the food but invited them over to eat-same thing. We would not hesitate to help our pcs if they needed a hand. I cosigned for my son's first loan to buy a car. He paid on time and got it paid off early. I knew he would. My parent's would not have even done that. easy child doesn't ask for anything. He has given us money to help pay for difficult child treatment without us asking. Now difficult child on the other hand..... And when is a mental illness so bad that you have to step in? When I go to NAMI (have not in awhile), there is enabling all over the place because there is a belief that they can't do somethings for themselves. When do you know they can't? How do you know? Is it incapacity or is it unwillingness? Is it addiction? Is giving my daughter rides to work enabling? Is buying her first pair of workshoes at age 17 enabling? When I advocated for treatment instead of jail time for her at age 15 and 16 was that enabling? I don't know! I was told in court by the state Residential Treatment Center (RTC) people that I enabled when I finially jumped in and told the nurse that my difficult child had to have her 3 month blood test for her thyroid. difficult child had asked and asked and nothing was done-it was 1 month over due-but I was enabling! I don't think it is black and white and I don't think it is the same for every parent and kid. I try to think is this for the good of the whole? Is this doing for her what she could do for herself? Is this just doing what a normal parent would do for a 17 year old, and how might it be different for my difficult child? (Like giving money which I would never do for difficult child or dealing with medical issues which I think we should do no matter what when they are minors). At FA it is dicey-many parents are in different stages and this question comes up every week. Last time someone asked if it was enabling to give their difficult child a ride to their 12 step meeting. Some said yes and others said no??? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
enabling information
Top