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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 519221" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Based on GFGbro experience... inviting them over to eat is NOT the same thing as ordering food for <em>them</em>.</p><p></p><p>The diff? (per my GFGbro) ... is that inviting them <em>over</em> to eat turns it from <em>difficult child</em> driving, to <em>you</em> driving. There's strings attached... they have to spend time with <em>you</em>. Are you just bank-rolling the food bill as a stop-gap? Or turning it into a (potential) relationship-building exercise? I haven't had to do this with my KIDS, but have in the past with GFGbro... and had to learn that paying for what they want or claim to need, is probably enabling... so I learned to offer the "come over" instead, IF it was convenient for me. BUT it depends on the situation... (no MH issues with GFGbro, for starters).</p><p></p><p>For the record... it was <em>rare</em> for him to accept an invite... he really didn't want to "waste" time with me, just wanted me to pay for food so he could do something else with his money... At least, it <em>was</em> rare, until he got rid of his addictions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 519221, member: 11791"] Based on GFGbro experience... inviting them over to eat is NOT the same thing as ordering food for [I]them[/I]. The diff? (per my GFGbro) ... is that inviting them [I]over[/I] to eat turns it from [I]difficult child[/I] driving, to [I]you[/I] driving. There's strings attached... they have to spend time with [I]you[/I]. Are you just bank-rolling the food bill as a stop-gap? Or turning it into a (potential) relationship-building exercise? I haven't had to do this with my KIDS, but have in the past with GFGbro... and had to learn that paying for what they want or claim to need, is probably enabling... so I learned to offer the "come over" instead, IF it was convenient for me. BUT it depends on the situation... (no MH issues with GFGbro, for starters). For the record... it was [I]rare[/I] for him to accept an invite... he really didn't want to "waste" time with me, just wanted me to pay for food so he could do something else with his money... At least, it [I]was[/I] rare, until he got rid of his addictions. [/QUOTE]
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