Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enabling or not?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752060" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>It doesn't matter why you do it or don't stop. This self-examination leads us to self-punishment and paralysis. The important thing, to me, is to become aware of it and to realize there is a choice.</p><p></p><p>All of us, I think, have a hard time with this.</p><p></p><p>I don't think this is self-sabotage.</p><p></p><p>I think my post was harsh. It's not our fault when our children mistreat us. If I implied you are responsible for being hurt by him, I was wrong. He is responsible for what he does.</p><p></p><p>But we are responsible for protecting ourselves. That is our responsibility. I want to put what I wrote in another way. What we are addicted to with our family members, who may be our kids, is to their love. To wanting their love, wanting them to love us, wanting to love them. You must look at those emails, believing on some level that this next email will contain what you seek, yearn for, want. Every.single.time. it contains hurtful venom.</p><p></p><p>It is not your fault that he is so mean to you. You don't deserve it. You deserve love. You deserve his love. You deserve to be able to love him without being hurt by him.</p><p></p><p>But there is a reality that must be faced. When you open yourself up to him--love does not happen--great pain and degradation happens. It's like a pod that has a false membrane, a membrane that presents as the possibility of love, and when it is pricked--it's toxic poison. And even though for the last 1000 times you have been presented with the lying, deceptive pod, that falsely presents itself as the possibility for love, it has revealed toxic poison, you continue to hope. We all of us do.</p><p></p><p>It's not your fault. All of us deceive ourselves for love. The thing to remember, I think, is that it's not about your son. His lying. His future. His present. His possibilities or probabilities. All of that is his business. His responsibility. Not yours.</p><p></p><p>It's that every pod you see, to you, is the possibility of loving. And every single time it's not. All of the rest of it, is either meaningless or your son's business. Not yours.</p><p></p><p>This is NOT your fault. It's about accepting the reality of what you see and know. There is nothing missing in you. There is nothing wrong in who you are or what you do. All of you is perfect. Nothing needs to change. It's awakening to what you know. It's paying attention to what you feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752060, member: 18958"] It doesn't matter why you do it or don't stop. This self-examination leads us to self-punishment and paralysis. The important thing, to me, is to become aware of it and to realize there is a choice. All of us, I think, have a hard time with this. I don't think this is self-sabotage. I think my post was harsh. It's not our fault when our children mistreat us. If I implied you are responsible for being hurt by him, I was wrong. He is responsible for what he does. But we are responsible for protecting ourselves. That is our responsibility. I want to put what I wrote in another way. What we are addicted to with our family members, who may be our kids, is to their love. To wanting their love, wanting them to love us, wanting to love them. You must look at those emails, believing on some level that this next email will contain what you seek, yearn for, want. Every.single.time. it contains hurtful venom. It is not your fault that he is so mean to you. You don't deserve it. You deserve love. You deserve his love. You deserve to be able to love him without being hurt by him. But there is a reality that must be faced. When you open yourself up to him--love does not happen--great pain and degradation happens. It's like a pod that has a false membrane, a membrane that presents as the possibility of love, and when it is pricked--it's toxic poison. And even though for the last 1000 times you have been presented with the lying, deceptive pod, that falsely presents itself as the possibility for love, it has revealed toxic poison, you continue to hope. We all of us do. It's not your fault. All of us deceive ourselves for love. The thing to remember, I think, is that it's not about your son. His lying. His future. His present. His possibilities or probabilities. All of that is his business. His responsibility. Not yours. It's that every pod you see, to you, is the possibility of loving. And every single time it's not. All of the rest of it, is either meaningless or your son's business. Not yours. This is NOT your fault. It's about accepting the reality of what you see and know. There is nothing missing in you. There is nothing wrong in who you are or what you do. All of you is perfect. Nothing needs to change. It's awakening to what you know. It's paying attention to what you feel. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enabling or not?
Top