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General Parenting
Enforcing Boundaries through the Fits
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 231663" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Sorry to hear it's been a rough night- as far as eating- many (if not all) mood stabilizers cause compulsion for eating- I'd let that go at this point in time. I realize that she might be too old for TEC techniques in the simplified form, but still, maybe choosing your battles would help ease your stress.</p><p></p><p>As far as enforcing boundaries through times like this- I struggle with that a lot and it takes reminders and help from others on the board many times. Still, I have no set plan that always works. I try to remember though, that if it's severe raging or mania, forget any behavioral plan- either it is let go at that moment or outside enforcements are called. By "let go", I just mean for that moment because we will not be able to settle things rationally and any reminder of consequences is just going to fuel things more.</p><p></p><p>But, I go to extremes to try to not give in and break one of of house rules or comply with a "demand" that I would not otherwise give. I will tell difficult child that when/if he can "chill out" and sit and talk about it calmly, I am happy to discuss what is bothering him and what he wants, but he does not get what he wants this way. Yes, this spurs raging and sometimes even aggression. I can only hope that somehow, my handling it calmly but firmly, trying very hard to not do anything to escalate the situation but not "giving in" somehow helps him progress.</p><p></p><p>So, if you're able to hold your own through this without letting your emotions take over or giving in, I think you've done all you can. I know it puts a LOT of pressure on us as parents to try to deal with legal issues (that we are held at least somewhat responsible for) on top of mental health issues on top of typical parental caring and typical teen stuff. I wish I could say I had a magic answer. Many times, I just post and ask for the reminders that help me get through those nights.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry it's been a long one for you.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 231663, member: 3699"] Sorry to hear it's been a rough night- as far as eating- many (if not all) mood stabilizers cause compulsion for eating- I'd let that go at this point in time. I realize that she might be too old for TEC techniques in the simplified form, but still, maybe choosing your battles would help ease your stress. As far as enforcing boundaries through times like this- I struggle with that a lot and it takes reminders and help from others on the board many times. Still, I have no set plan that always works. I try to remember though, that if it's severe raging or mania, forget any behavioral plan- either it is let go at that moment or outside enforcements are called. By "let go", I just mean for that moment because we will not be able to settle things rationally and any reminder of consequences is just going to fuel things more. But, I go to extremes to try to not give in and break one of of house rules or comply with a "demand" that I would not otherwise give. I will tell difficult child that when/if he can "chill out" and sit and talk about it calmly, I am happy to discuss what is bothering him and what he wants, but he does not get what he wants this way. Yes, this spurs raging and sometimes even aggression. I can only hope that somehow, my handling it calmly but firmly, trying very hard to not do anything to escalate the situation but not "giving in" somehow helps him progress. So, if you're able to hold your own through this without letting your emotions take over or giving in, I think you've done all you can. I know it puts a LOT of pressure on us as parents to try to deal with legal issues (that we are held at least somewhat responsible for) on top of mental health issues on top of typical parental caring and typical teen stuff. I wish I could say I had a magic answer. Many times, I just post and ask for the reminders that help me get through those nights. I'm sorry it's been a long one for you..... [/QUOTE]
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