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Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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<blockquote data-quote="sodamnweary" data-source="post: 643571" data-attributes="member: 18677"><p>Like I've done a hundred times, I was trolling the internet tonight about my very handsome troubled son and came across this site with a post mirroring much of what I've experienced. My 22 year old has never been easy, in fact always quite difficult, but these past 6 years or so have been a living hell for me. He's managed to stay out of trouble legally somehow but has bungled virtually every other aspect of his life - bad grades in school, two good colleges which he quit (that I got him into and let's not include the $155,000 that cost us), ridiculous amounts of all kinds of drugs (because it's "fun" he claims), dealing drugs at various points, shrinks, rehab, depression, defiance, disrespect, lies, lies and more lies, rage, nonstop drama, a verbally abusive girlfriend that's just as much a train wreck as him - I really could go on forever and none of it's good. I can't tell you how negatively he's impacted my wellbeing - years and years of it. He's also pretty much destroyed my relationship with my husband/his father since he's enabled this kid's behavior from DAY ONE, including yelling AT ME when this kid would be in one of his drug-fueled explosions and we'd be fighting and this kid would push me hard - numerous times and his Dad would yell AT ME! I told my husband that I'll never forgive him for those times, but that's only a fraction of his ignoring and condoning this kid's behavior. I realize this is irrational but I also blame my husband and his horrible gene pool for making this kid like this as all of his nephews are messed-up in similar ways and some even worse (homeless, prison, etc...) I'm also angry at myself for not seeing this when I was young and allowing myself to even get involved with him in the first place. I come from a family who is so far on the other side and this actually compounds the problem - I had to see all of my brothers' PERFECT children at Christmas, all of whom couldn't have been more shining and bright and excelling at everything, yet here is this bad seed that seems to emit negativity and for lack of a better word, almost a sleazy vibe. I did not raise him like this! I have given this kid everything, helped him WAY more all along the way than I should have and there's nothing different that I could have done to make him different. I have another son who, although not perfect, is a good kid. After yet more true AGONY that this kid has put me through in the past months, I told him that things have to change and I don't want to have a bad relationship with him anymore. He's promised things will be different but it'll be temporary. I'm sick that I have a kid like this. I don't like him virtually all of the time and beyond ashamed to admit that a lot of the time I'm not even sure I love him. He's destroyed me and I wonder how I can find any semblance of joy with knowledge that someone I've put so much effort into has turned into what he has. Yes, I know I need to detach - but I can't imagine getting over the profound disappointment and pain of what could've been and what is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sodamnweary, post: 643571, member: 18677"] Like I've done a hundred times, I was trolling the internet tonight about my very handsome troubled son and came across this site with a post mirroring much of what I've experienced. My 22 year old has never been easy, in fact always quite difficult, but these past 6 years or so have been a living hell for me. He's managed to stay out of trouble legally somehow but has bungled virtually every other aspect of his life - bad grades in school, two good colleges which he quit (that I got him into and let's not include the $155,000 that cost us), ridiculous amounts of all kinds of drugs (because it's "fun" he claims), dealing drugs at various points, shrinks, rehab, depression, defiance, disrespect, lies, lies and more lies, rage, nonstop drama, a verbally abusive girlfriend that's just as much a train wreck as him - I really could go on forever and none of it's good. I can't tell you how negatively he's impacted my wellbeing - years and years of it. He's also pretty much destroyed my relationship with my husband/his father since he's enabled this kid's behavior from DAY ONE, including yelling AT ME when this kid would be in one of his drug-fueled explosions and we'd be fighting and this kid would push me hard - numerous times and his Dad would yell AT ME! I told my husband that I'll never forgive him for those times, but that's only a fraction of his ignoring and condoning this kid's behavior. I realize this is irrational but I also blame my husband and his horrible gene pool for making this kid like this as all of his nephews are messed-up in similar ways and some even worse (homeless, prison, etc...) I'm also angry at myself for not seeing this when I was young and allowing myself to even get involved with him in the first place. I come from a family who is so far on the other side and this actually compounds the problem - I had to see all of my brothers' PERFECT children at Christmas, all of whom couldn't have been more shining and bright and excelling at everything, yet here is this bad seed that seems to emit negativity and for lack of a better word, almost a sleazy vibe. I did not raise him like this! I have given this kid everything, helped him WAY more all along the way than I should have and there's nothing different that I could have done to make him different. I have another son who, although not perfect, is a good kid. After yet more true AGONY that this kid has put me through in the past months, I told him that things have to change and I don't want to have a bad relationship with him anymore. He's promised things will be different but it'll be temporary. I'm sick that I have a kid like this. I don't like him virtually all of the time and beyond ashamed to admit that a lot of the time I'm not even sure I love him. He's destroyed me and I wonder how I can find any semblance of joy with knowledge that someone I've put so much effort into has turned into what he has. Yes, I know I need to detach - but I can't imagine getting over the profound disappointment and pain of what could've been and what is. [/QUOTE]
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Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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