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Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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<blockquote data-quote="Momnotlivingthedream" data-source="post: 643585" data-attributes="member: 18643"><p>I honestly know I need to detach but feel the same way as you. It will be a life sentence of agony for me if I do. I get what your saying about the gene pool but seems like that's a little unfair and what's done is done. What I don't like to hear is your that husband has not been on the same page with you and failed to support you. I'm sure that's really compounded the problem for you<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> and although my husband and I have argued a lot about his enabling I never quite went through what you're going through there. That must make it exponentially hard. </p><p>Have you been able to take him to a psychiatrist and have any diagnosis beyond the ADHD? Not that the that he would follow through on a therapeutic plan. I was just curious.</p><p>It really resonated me when you said that he's destroyed you because I feel the same way. I've become a much different person since all of this torture began. Used to be very optimistic, kept myself in good shape and had a positive outlook about the world. I now feel like a broken, beaten down, sad, woman where my circle of friends is very small compared to what it used to be, I'm not a great wife to my husband, mother to my other kids and I'm always on the verge of having some kind of anxiety attack due to years of PTSD of getting phone calls where something horrific has happened. Each phone call one step further into this incredulous realization that this person, the same beautiful boy I raised who was such a loving ball of joy in his younger years, is now someone I don't know, like or respect.</p><p>I'm not as far along in the process as many on here are. I am all talk on detachment but still have unrealistic hopes and think detachment will be the end of my ability to live my life. I know that sounds dramatic but that's how I feel. I feel like despite everything else being positive in my life, if I dont know hes ok, nothing will be ok in my world. I wish there were places to turn to in person where parents like us could talk.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Momnotlivingthedream, post: 643585, member: 18643"] I honestly know I need to detach but feel the same way as you. It will be a life sentence of agony for me if I do. I get what your saying about the gene pool but seems like that's a little unfair and what's done is done. What I don't like to hear is your that husband has not been on the same page with you and failed to support you. I'm sure that's really compounded the problem for you:( and although my husband and I have argued a lot about his enabling I never quite went through what you're going through there. That must make it exponentially hard. Have you been able to take him to a psychiatrist and have any diagnosis beyond the ADHD? Not that the that he would follow through on a therapeutic plan. I was just curious. It really resonated me when you said that he's destroyed you because I feel the same way. I've become a much different person since all of this torture began. Used to be very optimistic, kept myself in good shape and had a positive outlook about the world. I now feel like a broken, beaten down, sad, woman where my circle of friends is very small compared to what it used to be, I'm not a great wife to my husband, mother to my other kids and I'm always on the verge of having some kind of anxiety attack due to years of PTSD of getting phone calls where something horrific has happened. Each phone call one step further into this incredulous realization that this person, the same beautiful boy I raised who was such a loving ball of joy in his younger years, is now someone I don't know, like or respect. I'm not as far along in the process as many on here are. I am all talk on detachment but still have unrealistic hopes and think detachment will be the end of my ability to live my life. I know that sounds dramatic but that's how I feel. I feel like despite everything else being positive in my life, if I dont know hes ok, nothing will be ok in my world. I wish there were places to turn to in person where parents like us could talk. [/QUOTE]
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Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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