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Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 643649" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>HLM, most of us were over-the-top incredible in trying to help our kids from a young age, and you seem like you did what most of us did. My son, who seemed like he had a combo of narcissism and antisocial in his younger years, was put into a hospital for his anger at age twelve. But, dang, he told me a sob story about how awful it was and how he had to hear, in group therapy, about being raped and other bad stuff and I panicked and got him discharged. Grrrrrrrrrrr. He was playing me as young as twelve. He was in therapy from age eight unti he refused to go anymore, and I tried so hard to get him to go and when he wouldn't *I* went to extra therapy to find out what *I* was doing wrong to make him so disrespectful and devious. I get tired thinking of those days. Finally he started threatening me and scaring me so he ended up leaving, at my wish. That didn't make it less awful though. But it did make our house safer for my youngest. I was divorced at the time and he was much bigger than me and much older than my daughter, who he routinely terrorized and abused...it is hard to type this about my own child. But he did these things. He seems to be much better now, but he lives two states away. I can only hope I'm right.</p><p></p><p>HLM, you will never give up hoping he will change, not in your heart. But you and I can not make our grown children change. They have to do it themselves. We are guiltless. I really think a lot of their behavior is genetic. There are so many who are ten times worse than my son on my family tree. I know he got it from me. But if I had known...but I didn't know. Do I have to blame myself forever? I don't...but I wish I had gone with my first instinct which was to adopt all my children so that I didn't pass around my genes. Sounds weird, right?</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, I so feel for you and your pain. I am in such a better place now, but when I was younger and he was younger, I was really a mess because he was a mess.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. You rock <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 643649, member: 1550"] HLM, most of us were over-the-top incredible in trying to help our kids from a young age, and you seem like you did what most of us did. My son, who seemed like he had a combo of narcissism and antisocial in his younger years, was put into a hospital for his anger at age twelve. But, dang, he told me a sob story about how awful it was and how he had to hear, in group therapy, about being raped and other bad stuff and I panicked and got him discharged. Grrrrrrrrrrr. He was playing me as young as twelve. He was in therapy from age eight unti he refused to go anymore, and I tried so hard to get him to go and when he wouldn't *I* went to extra therapy to find out what *I* was doing wrong to make him so disrespectful and devious. I get tired thinking of those days. Finally he started threatening me and scaring me so he ended up leaving, at my wish. That didn't make it less awful though. But it did make our house safer for my youngest. I was divorced at the time and he was much bigger than me and much older than my daughter, who he routinely terrorized and abused...it is hard to type this about my own child. But he did these things. He seems to be much better now, but he lives two states away. I can only hope I'm right. HLM, you will never give up hoping he will change, not in your heart. But you and I can not make our grown children change. They have to do it themselves. We are guiltless. I really think a lot of their behavior is genetic. There are so many who are ten times worse than my son on my family tree. I know he got it from me. But if I had known...but I didn't know. Do I have to blame myself forever? I don't...but I wish I had gone with my first instinct which was to adopt all my children so that I didn't pass around my genes. Sounds weird, right? Anyhow, I so feel for you and your pain. I am in such a better place now, but when I was younger and he was younger, I was really a mess because he was a mess. Hang in there. You rock :) [/QUOTE]
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Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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