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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 384485" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>yea we all make mistakes, we're human it's trial and error. falter, pick yourself up, wipe off begin again. ive just learned so much from being here, i wish id' found it sooner. would of helped alot. i just went it on my own for soo long.</p><p> </p><p>i always tried to make alone time with-easy child yet as she grew older we got lost in the mix somehow, she got caught in the shuffle unbeknownst to me. i guess she wasn't expressing her needs because she internalizes and i wasn't reading her well enough to know tea at the table at night wasnt' going Occupational Therapist (OT) cut it anymore. as far as difficult child i learned from here several years ago to do just that, not cave like you said Terry it sets a bad precedent and its' so hard to undo. we coddle out of that mommy love protect thing, yet at times removing detatching is the way to go so they can stand alone. afterall i guess that's our continuous battle give them wings so they can fly someday. with reg. functioning kids whatever that means <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> we dont' push as hard because i think they meet their milestones more smoothly, yet with-difficult child's we gotta push even harder because it often seems each new milestone or next stage is a battle to get them there. so reverse, right?? should push lighter on them but we can't.</p><p> </p><p>i haven't always been a great role model either. i dont' think i put this here so we could bash ourselves, even though i've bashed myself internally for years and have realized a few years back that solves zero. i think it was more to say yea environment does matter. how we as adults do handle junk matters. what is our family dynamic and if we did have that magic wand what would we change. work on we can do, yet that wand would be AWESOME.</p><p> </p><p>each day i put her to bed and say to myself did i do a good job today, how many times did I MELT down? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> how can i get thru tmrw even better? and find time for me in the mix sort of thing. self care is HUGE i've come to learn always knew yet ignored me, tests etc. but man Terry you have always been so good with-that. finding your time, making the time, scheduling, you are probably a super organized person. me i struggle with-that bigtime.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 384485, member: 4514"] yea we all make mistakes, we're human it's trial and error. falter, pick yourself up, wipe off begin again. ive just learned so much from being here, i wish id' found it sooner. would of helped alot. i just went it on my own for soo long. i always tried to make alone time with-easy child yet as she grew older we got lost in the mix somehow, she got caught in the shuffle unbeknownst to me. i guess she wasn't expressing her needs because she internalizes and i wasn't reading her well enough to know tea at the table at night wasnt' going Occupational Therapist (OT) cut it anymore. as far as difficult child i learned from here several years ago to do just that, not cave like you said Terry it sets a bad precedent and its' so hard to undo. we coddle out of that mommy love protect thing, yet at times removing detatching is the way to go so they can stand alone. afterall i guess that's our continuous battle give them wings so they can fly someday. with reg. functioning kids whatever that means :) we dont' push as hard because i think they meet their milestones more smoothly, yet with-difficult child's we gotta push even harder because it often seems each new milestone or next stage is a battle to get them there. so reverse, right?? should push lighter on them but we can't. i haven't always been a great role model either. i dont' think i put this here so we could bash ourselves, even though i've bashed myself internally for years and have realized a few years back that solves zero. i think it was more to say yea environment does matter. how we as adults do handle junk matters. what is our family dynamic and if we did have that magic wand what would we change. work on we can do, yet that wand would be AWESOME. each day i put her to bed and say to myself did i do a good job today, how many times did I MELT down? :) how can i get thru tmrw even better? and find time for me in the mix sort of thing. self care is HUGE i've come to learn always knew yet ignored me, tests etc. but man Terry you have always been so good with-that. finding your time, making the time, scheduling, you are probably a super organized person. me i struggle with-that bigtime. [/QUOTE]
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