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Estranged adult son and granddaughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 596431" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>SH,</p><p>I am 60 and when I read your post I also thought you were much older. I feel like I have a lot of life left to live and you have more than I do!!</p><p></p><p>I had been in and out of a depression due to my life for a number of years. I am not a suicidal person BUT I started to think, is this all there is going to be to my life. I was in my 40's and THIS IS ALL I GET!</p><p></p><p>I went on medical leave from my job and saw a therapist twice a week, she had me on anti depressants. After a few months I forced myself to take days walks. I was out for 6 months and went back a new person.</p><p></p><p>My son was clean and sober for about a year and a half. Things were going well. He started a new relationship and now (in my opinion) he is worse than he was before. He has always been difficult and his father didn't help emotionally or financially.</p><p></p><p>His lies, conns, all started over again, in my opinion, he was worse than ever. At first I was jumping through hoops to 'help' him, then after a conn to get money from me I just snapped. NO MORE!!!</p><p></p><p>My son was threatening suicide and he cuts himself, so one day he may. He has gone NC with me for about 6 months now, no one in the family has heard from him, I have no idea where he is. So very sad for me. But, I had to step back and look at the situation, what it was doing to ME. They are adults, we deserve a life too.</p><p></p><p>I can not control anything he does, so I don't try. I may never see or hear from my son again. I also know I can not continue with the relationship we had.</p><p></p><p>I could not have more children after my first, my son was an unexpected joy, my miracle child, that he would treat me this way breaks my heart. It also has opened up my eyes to just how selfish and spiteful my child is!!!</p><p></p><p>You can not make your hubby do anything, but maybe once you start doing things he will join. My therapist taught me the best way out of a slump is to get busy. Start exercising and start a journal, find hobbies you enjoy, read books, take a class. Do something for YOU. I am a people pleaser too and I have found after I started to really change my enabling and codependent habits I became happier with me. We honestly can not please everyone, so I try to please me! It's not selfish to take care of yourself, you deserve it.</p><p></p><p>We did the best we could raising them, so now we have to let them go. Some days it is easier than others, just take it one day at a time. There are days that I take it hour by hour. </p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 596431, member: 13558"] SH, I am 60 and when I read your post I also thought you were much older. I feel like I have a lot of life left to live and you have more than I do!! I had been in and out of a depression due to my life for a number of years. I am not a suicidal person BUT I started to think, is this all there is going to be to my life. I was in my 40's and THIS IS ALL I GET! I went on medical leave from my job and saw a therapist twice a week, she had me on anti depressants. After a few months I forced myself to take days walks. I was out for 6 months and went back a new person. My son was clean and sober for about a year and a half. Things were going well. He started a new relationship and now (in my opinion) he is worse than he was before. He has always been difficult and his father didn't help emotionally or financially. His lies, conns, all started over again, in my opinion, he was worse than ever. At first I was jumping through hoops to 'help' him, then after a conn to get money from me I just snapped. NO MORE!!! My son was threatening suicide and he cuts himself, so one day he may. He has gone NC with me for about 6 months now, no one in the family has heard from him, I have no idea where he is. So very sad for me. But, I had to step back and look at the situation, what it was doing to ME. They are adults, we deserve a life too. I can not control anything he does, so I don't try. I may never see or hear from my son again. I also know I can not continue with the relationship we had. I could not have more children after my first, my son was an unexpected joy, my miracle child, that he would treat me this way breaks my heart. It also has opened up my eyes to just how selfish and spiteful my child is!!! You can not make your hubby do anything, but maybe once you start doing things he will join. My therapist taught me the best way out of a slump is to get busy. Start exercising and start a journal, find hobbies you enjoy, read books, take a class. Do something for YOU. I am a people pleaser too and I have found after I started to really change my enabling and codependent habits I became happier with me. We honestly can not please everyone, so I try to please me! It's not selfish to take care of yourself, you deserve it. We did the best we could raising them, so now we have to let them go. Some days it is easier than others, just take it one day at a time. There are days that I take it hour by hour. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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Estranged adult son and granddaughter
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