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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 707764" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Liv. There are so many parallels with my own son who is now 28 and much improved, to the point he is living with us now. And for the most part, he is a pleasure to be around.</p><p></p><p>The turn around started with my setting firm limits. To the extent I was disinterested even in talking with him, and when we did, *he called me I spoke only the Al Anon words: oh, so, and no.</p><p></p><p>I do believe he began to mature but I also held him accountable and was clear about limits, and better enforced them.</p><p></p><p>The point is that your son is acting like a difficult child does: lying, blaming others, putting responsibility on others, losing, breaking phones, eating up your arm if you give them a hand, running friendships into the ground by taking advantage, rejecting therapy, believing he knows best, vagrancy, homelessness, indirect or direct threats of suicide, aggression, hostility....this is all typical difficult child behavior. My own son did all of this and more.</p><p></p><p>And at 27, he began to get better, but oh boy did he have to suffer to be motivated to temper his behavior and accept limits. Now there is even the beginnings of motivation to achieve. I hope. So far, just words. But he is showing flickers of understanding that the solutions to his problems are in him.</p><p></p><p>I do hope you stay with us. Please, please, take heart. This is really, really hard....I do not have to tell you. You might want to read the "detachment" thread which you can find posted somewhere on the Forums pages. I will go check to find it.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p><p></p><p>Here it is: Look at Parents Emeritus. It is like the 2nd or 3rd thread down. <span style="font-size: 15px"><strong><a href="https://conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank"><u>Article on Detachment</u></a> </strong></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 707764, member: 18958"] Liv. There are so many parallels with my own son who is now 28 and much improved, to the point he is living with us now. And for the most part, he is a pleasure to be around. The turn around started with my setting firm limits. To the extent I was disinterested even in talking with him, and when we did, *he called me I spoke only the Al Anon words: oh, so, and no. I do believe he began to mature but I also held him accountable and was clear about limits, and better enforced them. The point is that your son is acting like a difficult child does: lying, blaming others, putting responsibility on others, losing, breaking phones, eating up your arm if you give them a hand, running friendships into the ground by taking advantage, rejecting therapy, believing he knows best, vagrancy, homelessness, indirect or direct threats of suicide, aggression, hostility....this is all typical difficult child behavior. My own son did all of this and more. And at 27, he began to get better, but oh boy did he have to suffer to be motivated to temper his behavior and accept limits. Now there is even the beginnings of motivation to achieve. I hope. So far, just words. But he is showing flickers of understanding that the solutions to his problems are in him. I do hope you stay with us. Please, please, take heart. This is really, really hard....I do not have to tell you. You might want to read the "detachment" thread which you can find posted somewhere on the Forums pages. I will go check to find it. Take care. Here it is: Look at Parents Emeritus. It is like the 2nd or 3rd thread down. [SIZE=4][B][URL='https://conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/'][U]Article on Detachment[/U][/URL] [/B][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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