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Ex husband bought a ticket for my son to come home
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 645303" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Trust your instincts Raylea, in your heart of hearts you know what your son is likely wanting now. That's probably why you are having anxiety about it. It does not sound as if he has changed. It sounds as if Seattle is just as hard as anywhere else when you're not willing to work. My take on it is he is looking for the next free ride, you, his Dad, his grandparents. Saying no seems like the appropriate thing to do. If he wants help, counseling, etc, you can make choices about your willingness to help him, but staying with you does not sound like a good idea. difficult child's know how to manipulate us into feeling sorry for them and giving them what they want. You do not have to cave in. Many have helped him in many ways, none of it worked. He has to help himself. That is the only way he will learn to take care of himself.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong, read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post, attend a 12 step group, go to a counselor, get as much support as you can until he returns. Don't let his Dad manipulate you too, let him put your son up if he is so upset about it. He sounds like an enabler, if he wants to enable your son then let him suffer the consequences, you don't have to. Set your boundaries. Say no. Take care of YOU. If you read the stories here, you'll see how saving them rarely, if ever works. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting, it helps with clarity and strength. We're here if you need us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 645303, member: 13542"] Trust your instincts Raylea, in your heart of hearts you know what your son is likely wanting now. That's probably why you are having anxiety about it. It does not sound as if he has changed. It sounds as if Seattle is just as hard as anywhere else when you're not willing to work. My take on it is he is looking for the next free ride, you, his Dad, his grandparents. Saying no seems like the appropriate thing to do. If he wants help, counseling, etc, you can make choices about your willingness to help him, but staying with you does not sound like a good idea. difficult child's know how to manipulate us into feeling sorry for them and giving them what they want. You do not have to cave in. Many have helped him in many ways, none of it worked. He has to help himself. That is the only way he will learn to take care of himself. Stay strong, read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post, attend a 12 step group, go to a counselor, get as much support as you can until he returns. Don't let his Dad manipulate you too, let him put your son up if he is so upset about it. He sounds like an enabler, if he wants to enable your son then let him suffer the consequences, you don't have to. Set your boundaries. Say no. Take care of YOU. If you read the stories here, you'll see how saving them rarely, if ever works. Keep posting, it helps with clarity and strength. We're here if you need us. [/QUOTE]
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Ex husband bought a ticket for my son to come home
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