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Ex trying to force He-Who-Left-Family and Daughter to have Christmas together
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 641548" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It is. I never understand why those who dislike their family interaction or are always the butt of everyone's dysfunction don't do it like we do...loved ones only. And by that I mean, loved ones who are not mean, critical, blaming or the ones who ruin the fun. I've been doing this for over a decade, if not two decades. It has been fabulous. There is no drama on our holidays. Even when my Dad would drop by and do us the honor of his presence (never staying long) just seeing all of us...my husband, my two daughters and Julies SO, Sonic and Jumper were enough to keep him in control. He never acted up in front of them. I don't know why, but bullies don't like to be outnumbered and he knew that if he started up on me, everyone would have turned on him, something a bully never likes.</p><p></p><p>I think it's wonderful just to have a quiet, restful, loving time for holidays. Who says it has to be on THAT date? Even if you a religious Christian, what's wrong with enjoying a wonderful church service with only family, then going home to eat with just the core of you whom get along? I never understood why some were drawn to chaos. The answers I get are interesting.</p><p>"Well, I have to. My mother will be upset, even though she knows Aunt Josie will belittle me." ????</p><p></p><p>"My kids need to see their cousins even though they usually see me in tears." ????</p><p></p><p>"But Dad is afraid of what will Cousin Vincent will say if you don't show up. He is always saying you have an attitude and you have NO control over that kid of yours. I hope YOU can make him mind so Cousin Vincent doesn't tell everyone how horrible my grandson is." Oh, yeah. I really care about Cousin Vincent, about as much as he cares about me. But some people do. Go figure. Or they want peace in their family as opposed to personal peace amongst just themselves and their closest family members. I get it, but I don't understand anyone asking for that for any reason.</p><p></p><p>Now if the family scene is pleasurable to you I understand it. I just don't get it if it's not. It's up to us how we spend our holidays.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 641548, member: 1550"] It is. I never understand why those who dislike their family interaction or are always the butt of everyone's dysfunction don't do it like we do...loved ones only. And by that I mean, loved ones who are not mean, critical, blaming or the ones who ruin the fun. I've been doing this for over a decade, if not two decades. It has been fabulous. There is no drama on our holidays. Even when my Dad would drop by and do us the honor of his presence (never staying long) just seeing all of us...my husband, my two daughters and Julies SO, Sonic and Jumper were enough to keep him in control. He never acted up in front of them. I don't know why, but bullies don't like to be outnumbered and he knew that if he started up on me, everyone would have turned on him, something a bully never likes. I think it's wonderful just to have a quiet, restful, loving time for holidays. Who says it has to be on THAT date? Even if you a religious Christian, what's wrong with enjoying a wonderful church service with only family, then going home to eat with just the core of you whom get along? I never understood why some were drawn to chaos. The answers I get are interesting. "Well, I have to. My mother will be upset, even though she knows Aunt Josie will belittle me." ???? "My kids need to see their cousins even though they usually see me in tears." ???? "But Dad is afraid of what will Cousin Vincent will say if you don't show up. He is always saying you have an attitude and you have NO control over that kid of yours. I hope YOU can make him mind so Cousin Vincent doesn't tell everyone how horrible my grandson is." Oh, yeah. I really care about Cousin Vincent, about as much as he cares about me. But some people do. Go figure. Or they want peace in their family as opposed to personal peace amongst just themselves and their closest family members. I get it, but I don't understand anyone asking for that for any reason. Now if the family scene is pleasurable to you I understand it. I just don't get it if it's not. It's up to us how we spend our holidays. [/QUOTE]
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Ex trying to force He-Who-Left-Family and Daughter to have Christmas together
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