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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 600050" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would go with the comprehensive evaluation. Who is telling you you're a bad mom? Somebody must be. But whoever it is, even if it's your inner voice, that person is dead wrong. Most likely your daughter was born wired differently and has a harder time adapting to life/normal situations than other kids and it has nothing to do with you, your dad, or his girlfriend's PTSD or you're "spoiling" her. Most of us give in to our little toddlers a lot. Most toddlers do not act out in a horrible way, spoiled or not. Most parents, moreoever, are not totally consistent. You are getting bad info from somebody/people. You need to get your daughter evaluated to see what's going on and I recommend a neuropsychologist or a comprehensive university hospital team of child development experts. Do NOT ask a therapist or your pediatrician. They are not well schooled in childhood disorders.</p><p></p><p>Do you know anything about the father's biological history or genetic background? Any psychiatric problems on either side of her genetic family tree? It does not matter if she never sees her father. He is half of her DNA so a part of her personality is from him and he lives within her so he can not be discounted as a factor in her atypical behavior. Things are often inherited. If you look at your genetic trees, you can probably see some differently wired people on both sides. Her bio. dad is probably a bigger factor into her inherent personality than your husband, even though he raised her. Genetics is huge. I'm an adoptive mom of three and adoptive moms are always amazed at how much more the kids that they raise are like their biological parents than like us, the ones who raise them. You may want to find out more about your one-night-stands biology so you can give accurate information to an evaluator.</p><p></p><p>Now to find out exactly what is going on with your daughter. We are just moms and we don't really know. Get the evaluation, hopefully with some info on the biological father too. If he is, say, bipolar, it is important to know that in the future. That is an example of an inherited disorder. Your husband may be a great guy and I'm sure he is, but he didn't contribute to her genetic makeup. With my adopted kids, we always dug for as much biological info as we could. It helped!!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 600050, member: 1550"] I would go with the comprehensive evaluation. Who is telling you you're a bad mom? Somebody must be. But whoever it is, even if it's your inner voice, that person is dead wrong. Most likely your daughter was born wired differently and has a harder time adapting to life/normal situations than other kids and it has nothing to do with you, your dad, or his girlfriend's PTSD or you're "spoiling" her. Most of us give in to our little toddlers a lot. Most toddlers do not act out in a horrible way, spoiled or not. Most parents, moreoever, are not totally consistent. You are getting bad info from somebody/people. You need to get your daughter evaluated to see what's going on and I recommend a neuropsychologist or a comprehensive university hospital team of child development experts. Do NOT ask a therapist or your pediatrician. They are not well schooled in childhood disorders. Do you know anything about the father's biological history or genetic background? Any psychiatric problems on either side of her genetic family tree? It does not matter if she never sees her father. He is half of her DNA so a part of her personality is from him and he lives within her so he can not be discounted as a factor in her atypical behavior. Things are often inherited. If you look at your genetic trees, you can probably see some differently wired people on both sides. Her bio. dad is probably a bigger factor into her inherent personality than your husband, even though he raised her. Genetics is huge. I'm an adoptive mom of three and adoptive moms are always amazed at how much more the kids that they raise are like their biological parents than like us, the ones who raise them. You may want to find out more about your one-night-stands biology so you can give accurate information to an evaluator. Now to find out exactly what is going on with your daughter. We are just moms and we don't really know. Get the evaluation, hopefully with some info on the biological father too. If he is, say, bipolar, it is important to know that in the future. That is an example of an inherited disorder. Your husband may be a great guy and I'm sure he is, but he didn't contribute to her genetic makeup. With my adopted kids, we always dug for as much biological info as we could. It helped!!!! :) [/QUOTE]
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