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General Parenting
Exhausted, stressed, and very sad
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<blockquote data-quote="Aspen" data-source="post: 509842" data-attributes="member: 14011"><p>Otto, thanks for your response. I don't think you are trying to make me feel bad. I've come to this forum for suggestions and advice. I agree that it's time to up our game. We are trying to figure out the best way to do that. Yesterday, my husband told our daughter "if you don't want to follow our rules, live elsewhere." She packed her bag quickly and left. Problem is...she is a minor and we are legally responsible for her. So, we've got a conundrum. She texted her dad tonight to let him know she was staying at a friend's house. I realize the impression is that we have been lax, and to some extent that may be true. But when you have a child who doesn't respond to gentle love, tough love, counseling, NOTHING - what do you do? If we ground her, she climbs out her window. She could care less if we take her cell phone or laptop. She could care less if she gets suspended. She doesn't care if she flunks all of her classes. When she was a sophomore, we paid for a "math intervention" class for her, because she was flunking geometry. The class met once per week, after school. I picked her up at 4:00 every Wednesday, and she would tell me how much she was learning. After about 4 weeks, I got an email from the teacher who asked why we paid for the class if daughter wasn't going to attend? Turns out, difficult child never went to a single class. We have talked, done written contracts. Everything. Trust me...everything. Counseling. Alternative high school. Sometimes, difficult child will cooperate for a day or two, but as soon as she hears "no", it's game on for her. This is truly exhausting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Aspen, post: 509842, member: 14011"] Otto, thanks for your response. I don't think you are trying to make me feel bad. I've come to this forum for suggestions and advice. I agree that it's time to up our game. We are trying to figure out the best way to do that. Yesterday, my husband told our daughter "if you don't want to follow our rules, live elsewhere." She packed her bag quickly and left. Problem is...she is a minor and we are legally responsible for her. So, we've got a conundrum. She texted her dad tonight to let him know she was staying at a friend's house. I realize the impression is that we have been lax, and to some extent that may be true. But when you have a child who doesn't respond to gentle love, tough love, counseling, NOTHING - what do you do? If we ground her, she climbs out her window. She could care less if we take her cell phone or laptop. She could care less if she gets suspended. She doesn't care if she flunks all of her classes. When she was a sophomore, we paid for a "math intervention" class for her, because she was flunking geometry. The class met once per week, after school. I picked her up at 4:00 every Wednesday, and she would tell me how much she was learning. After about 4 weeks, I got an email from the teacher who asked why we paid for the class if daughter wasn't going to attend? Turns out, difficult child never went to a single class. We have talked, done written contracts. Everything. Trust me...everything. Counseling. Alternative high school. Sometimes, difficult child will cooperate for a day or two, but as soon as she hears "no", it's game on for her. This is truly exhausting. [/QUOTE]
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