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EXSIL filed for full custody
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 411513" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am more worried about the emotional impact of the allegations than the legalities. ExSIL and gfgbro were BOTH strongly warned by the judge that if he took legal parental responsibility then it would NOT be overturned later even if DNA showed it wasn't his. In OK you CANNOT divorce if the wife is pregnant. ExSIL was still married to her first husband when she and gfgbro got pregnant. Gfgbro went to the court and told the judge that it was HIS child and he took full legal, emotional and moral responsibility for teh baby. This was precedent setting - she was the FIRST woman in OK to get a divorce while pregnant. Otherwise her first husband would legally be niece's father until a court changed it. That process is expensive and requires a DNA test even if all parties agree to it. </p><p> </p><p>I will go to court and testify if asked. </p><p> </p><p>There is plenty of documentation that the days she has been late her mother has been responsible. The school records which parent calls or drops her off and requires a note if no phone call. They were divorced with shared parenting where they each had her for part of the week. One had her from Sunday after church to Friday except for Wed night and the other had her for Wed after school to Thurs before school and Fri after school to Sunday noon (through church on Sun which the court says is over by noon). It is bizarre to keep track of and is the standard custody order in our area. </p><p> </p><p>Instead of parents dropping the kid off or picking her up at each other's home, school or daycare is the transition point. So one drops the child off to school and the other picks her up there - saves a lot of problems for the local police. This arrangement is NOT one the parents' chose. Our courts give this arrangement to ALL divorcing parents unless one parent is proven unfit. At the time of the divorce exSIL tried to say he was not fit and used the call to CPS that I made. I did not have to testify because the attorney said I signed an affadavit (which I did) and was there to testify that it was made based on false information provided by exsil. Her lawyer did NOT want that to come up because I could testify that I saw her do some very strange things esp during postpartum psychosis, etc... I also was at the doctor's office when he wanted her to do some things to deal with the postpartum mess and she wouldn't. Her lawyer didn't want ANY of that to come up because she was saying that bro didn't bond with niece (SHE is the one who didn't bond with her then - did bond later) and there were plenty of things to prove it. As long as I was there her lawyer didn't want ANY of it to come up. Otherwise the judge just saw it on paper but didn't hear exsil's "explanations". As it was she talked herself out of a settlement she was demanding and made a pretty good case for bro to receive primary custody. If a father had said the things she said, he would have lost custody. But she was a mom and when she saw that the judge didn't believe her she cried. </p><p> </p><p>I really hope she has the same lawyer she had back then. He was really bad = didn't even know which case he was arguing at one point. Asked for a property settlement including the boat, horses and their daughter's car. Um, they didn't have a boat, horses etc... and their daughter's car was a barbie car she wasn't old enough to play with yet. Niece was about 1 1/2 at the time. Bro has really worked with exSIL on being flexible.</p><p> </p><p>She has had several stays in psychiatric hospitals, is still in the program for addicted nurses to keep their licenses though she has been in it MUCH longer than is supposed to be possible. You are supposed to get cleaned up, follow the rules and then get released. Then for X months you are out but a report from a boss or another nurse can put you back in the program. The only time she has been "out" of it has NOT been for being clean and following the rules. It has been because she lost her job because drug related problems like falling asleep while on a home care assignment and having her patients' pain medications go missing. Each time seh has a story for how someone is out to get her. I have been surprised by the number of times people have believed these lies and hired her because they "know" she is telling the truth and didn't take the medications. Five jobs in 2 years tells a story, in my opinion. Esp when she was fired or "let go" from each of them, even with a contract in place for 3 of them. I know this stuff because I have proofread some of her letters about this stuff, seen letters of job offers, and known people who had to work with her.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know if her sons will tell the truth in court or not. The oldest one lives about 4 hrs away but won't even visit for Christmas, or hasn't for at least 4 of 5 yrs. One year she was going to see him and he flat out said if she did he would leave town. But he also HATES my bro. Bro was a total horrible awful person to both of her sons. They wre spoiled bratty teens but he wanted to play drill sargent and nothing they did was right. Both of her sons refused to live with her after my bro moved in. None of us but bro and exsil blamed them. I would be pretty angry if someone moved into my home and then called me a worthless piece of excrement because I left dishes in the sink after breakfast and didn't spend four hours a day making sure the house was crumb free. Granted, they were messy, but not as bad as many teens I have known. An even bigger sin to my bro was that they, - hold on to your hats, this is truly awful, sinful and a sign of their true worthlessness as human beings - liked to watch movies and tv shows every day. Yup. They had favorite tv shows and liked to watch tv every day instead of cleaning. They would even watch tv instead of doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting, or using a squeegee on the tub after every use so that it didn't get water spots.</p><p> </p><p>Needless to say there is NO love lost there. But he is very different with his daughter than he was with teen stepsons - esp because he had never had a child at the point that he moved in with them. You do grow and learn after you have a child.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I hope she loses custody. I never thought she should have physical custody. She simply is too mentally ill and unstable. She had one boyfriend after she left bro (before they were legally divorced) who started calling MY MOTHER and screaming at her over the phone. Why? Who knows. Nothing they screamed made sense (exsil would scream into t he phone iwth the boyfriend).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 411513, member: 1233"] I am more worried about the emotional impact of the allegations than the legalities. ExSIL and gfgbro were BOTH strongly warned by the judge that if he took legal parental responsibility then it would NOT be overturned later even if DNA showed it wasn't his. In OK you CANNOT divorce if the wife is pregnant. ExSIL was still married to her first husband when she and gfgbro got pregnant. Gfgbro went to the court and told the judge that it was HIS child and he took full legal, emotional and moral responsibility for teh baby. This was precedent setting - she was the FIRST woman in OK to get a divorce while pregnant. Otherwise her first husband would legally be niece's father until a court changed it. That process is expensive and requires a DNA test even if all parties agree to it. I will go to court and testify if asked. There is plenty of documentation that the days she has been late her mother has been responsible. The school records which parent calls or drops her off and requires a note if no phone call. They were divorced with shared parenting where they each had her for part of the week. One had her from Sunday after church to Friday except for Wed night and the other had her for Wed after school to Thurs before school and Fri after school to Sunday noon (through church on Sun which the court says is over by noon). It is bizarre to keep track of and is the standard custody order in our area. Instead of parents dropping the kid off or picking her up at each other's home, school or daycare is the transition point. So one drops the child off to school and the other picks her up there - saves a lot of problems for the local police. This arrangement is NOT one the parents' chose. Our courts give this arrangement to ALL divorcing parents unless one parent is proven unfit. At the time of the divorce exSIL tried to say he was not fit and used the call to CPS that I made. I did not have to testify because the attorney said I signed an affadavit (which I did) and was there to testify that it was made based on false information provided by exsil. Her lawyer did NOT want that to come up because I could testify that I saw her do some very strange things esp during postpartum psychosis, etc... I also was at the doctor's office when he wanted her to do some things to deal with the postpartum mess and she wouldn't. Her lawyer didn't want ANY of that to come up because she was saying that bro didn't bond with niece (SHE is the one who didn't bond with her then - did bond later) and there were plenty of things to prove it. As long as I was there her lawyer didn't want ANY of it to come up. Otherwise the judge just saw it on paper but didn't hear exsil's "explanations". As it was she talked herself out of a settlement she was demanding and made a pretty good case for bro to receive primary custody. If a father had said the things she said, he would have lost custody. But she was a mom and when she saw that the judge didn't believe her she cried. I really hope she has the same lawyer she had back then. He was really bad = didn't even know which case he was arguing at one point. Asked for a property settlement including the boat, horses and their daughter's car. Um, they didn't have a boat, horses etc... and their daughter's car was a barbie car she wasn't old enough to play with yet. Niece was about 1 1/2 at the time. Bro has really worked with exSIL on being flexible. She has had several stays in psychiatric hospitals, is still in the program for addicted nurses to keep their licenses though she has been in it MUCH longer than is supposed to be possible. You are supposed to get cleaned up, follow the rules and then get released. Then for X months you are out but a report from a boss or another nurse can put you back in the program. The only time she has been "out" of it has NOT been for being clean and following the rules. It has been because she lost her job because drug related problems like falling asleep while on a home care assignment and having her patients' pain medications go missing. Each time seh has a story for how someone is out to get her. I have been surprised by the number of times people have believed these lies and hired her because they "know" she is telling the truth and didn't take the medications. Five jobs in 2 years tells a story, in my opinion. Esp when she was fired or "let go" from each of them, even with a contract in place for 3 of them. I know this stuff because I have proofread some of her letters about this stuff, seen letters of job offers, and known people who had to work with her. I don't know if her sons will tell the truth in court or not. The oldest one lives about 4 hrs away but won't even visit for Christmas, or hasn't for at least 4 of 5 yrs. One year she was going to see him and he flat out said if she did he would leave town. But he also HATES my bro. Bro was a total horrible awful person to both of her sons. They wre spoiled bratty teens but he wanted to play drill sargent and nothing they did was right. Both of her sons refused to live with her after my bro moved in. None of us but bro and exsil blamed them. I would be pretty angry if someone moved into my home and then called me a worthless piece of excrement because I left dishes in the sink after breakfast and didn't spend four hours a day making sure the house was crumb free. Granted, they were messy, but not as bad as many teens I have known. An even bigger sin to my bro was that they, - hold on to your hats, this is truly awful, sinful and a sign of their true worthlessness as human beings - liked to watch movies and tv shows every day. Yup. They had favorite tv shows and liked to watch tv every day instead of cleaning. They would even watch tv instead of doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting, or using a squeegee on the tub after every use so that it didn't get water spots. Needless to say there is NO love lost there. But he is very different with his daughter than he was with teen stepsons - esp because he had never had a child at the point that he moved in with them. You do grow and learn after you have a child. Anyway, I hope she loses custody. I never thought she should have physical custody. She simply is too mentally ill and unstable. She had one boyfriend after she left bro (before they were legally divorced) who started calling MY MOTHER and screaming at her over the phone. Why? Who knows. Nothing they screamed made sense (exsil would scream into t he phone iwth the boyfriend). [/QUOTE]
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