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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 466492" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I read some really good advice for adoptive mothers/fathers once and it worked extremely well for my oldest daughter who would often say "My REAL mother would be NICE to me." Instead of addressing who was the real mom or not (as we both are, in a sense) it said to make the birthmother your ally. So the next time my daughter said, "My REAL mother wouldn't make me blah blah blah" I replied calmly, "Your Korean mother would agree with me."</p><p>She was so shocked she just stared with her mouth open. That gave me a chance to explain how respectful kids are expected to be in Korea and how she was wrong if she thought that in Korea her birthmother would accept her behavior.</p><p>She never said it again. WE HAVE talked about her birthmother and whether she should find her or not, and I told her to go for it, however she never used her birthmother against me again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 466492, member: 1550"] I read some really good advice for adoptive mothers/fathers once and it worked extremely well for my oldest daughter who would often say "My REAL mother would be NICE to me." Instead of addressing who was the real mom or not (as we both are, in a sense) it said to make the birthmother your ally. So the next time my daughter said, "My REAL mother wouldn't make me blah blah blah" I replied calmly, "Your Korean mother would agree with me." She was so shocked she just stared with her mouth open. That gave me a chance to explain how respectful kids are expected to be in Korea and how she was wrong if she thought that in Korea her birthmother would accept her behavior. She never said it again. WE HAVE talked about her birthmother and whether she should find her or not, and I told her to go for it, however she never used her birthmother against me again. [/QUOTE]
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