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Family of Origin
Fairy Tales and the Healing Journey
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 680758" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>It is up to us. We have been through the fire, now to clear the cinders. We will not be afraid of making mistakes and unlocking full potential. Because it was in us all along to be who we are.</p><p> Cinderella was who she was, nothing could dampen her spirit and courage. She had her values and principles, despite being treated unfairly and horribly by her step mother and sisters. She persevered in the face of difficulties.</p><p>She made use of her suffering to become stronger.</p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]ZpkIPtYw01k[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p> For, me, my family was not outrageously dysfunctional, perhaps, mildly. I do think that I found strength and purpose bearing children and am thankful for the blessings.</p><p></p><p>When the kids went off the rails, it was a pain that ripped to the core of me. Awoke many old, deep feelings. I am sorry Cedar, to suffer when our children suffer, and not have understanding and love from family. That is ugly.</p><p></p><p>"The stepmother is mean to Cinderella and favors her own “ugly” daughters. Symbolically, the female gender represents the affection or love of some worldview. This tells us that a harmful influence and its derivative (and ugly) offspring are threatening Cinderella’s soul and its rightful goodness (birthright)."</p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]TrxJeKnKaAk[/MEDIA]</p><p> We are all imperfect and make mistakes. My kids were quick to point out instances that I wish I could have done a better job. There was a point in my grieving over my two that I felt awfully guilty, but I think that is part of the process. Reviewing and wondering, if I had done this, or that. In the long run, it is up to all of us to find our way out of the fog, even the kids. I would imagine most parents in the throes of this, even ones who did not come through difficult childhoods and dysfunctional families, went through a time of guilt and felt responsible for the choices the kids made. You are not a beggar Cedar. All of the stuff stuck way down deep turns around to this inner voice that can be so negative and self destructive. Remnants of the past came roaring forward. But, we are clearing out the cinders.</p><p>Cinderella thought no less of herself when her step-mother reduced her to a maid to do her bidding. Yes, it hurt deeply, but she knew who the liar was.</p><p>No, you are not a beggar.</p><p> Nor, are you a pebble in anyones shoe.</p><p>We didn't believe in our own ability, we forgot, Cedar, what it took to survive. We forgot that what we needed was within us all along. We forgot how incredibly brave we were, and are.</p><p></p><p>"Therefore, the fairy godmother’s turning a pumpkin into a coach, represents turning goodness into doctrine or vehicle to carry one through life. Turning mice into horses represents transforming something small and insignificant in one’s mind into a greater capacity for understanding—which pulls one’s heart and belief system in the right direction."</p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]QkLxurvlNj0[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p> Sweep out the cinders.</p><p> I like that image very much Cedar, how strong the little girl is.</p><p></p><p>“To be sure, man's search for meaning may arouse inner tension rather than inner equilibrium. However, precisely such tension is an indispensable prerequisite of mental health. There is nothing in the world, I venture to say, that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one's life. There is much wisdom in the words of Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how”― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2782.Viktor_E_Frankl" target="_blank">Viktor E. Frankl</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3389674" target="_blank">Man's Search for Meaning</a></p><p></p><p>It is a theft. It is the difference between empowering, and power over. The truth, is we <em>never </em>gave them permission to power over. I believe we held on tightly to the part of us they were trying to smother.</p><p></p><p>It is up to us to clear out any remnants left, to see through our own eyes and to empower ourselves. </p><p>We have to work hard at cleaning out the remaining cinders left from the hearth of our past.</p><p></p><p>We are present, and this is our "ever after". </p><p>Time to grab hold of life and live it, joyfully.</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]ZGFHY5JjTZQ[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 680758, member: 19522"] It is up to us. We have been through the fire, now to clear the cinders. We will not be afraid of making mistakes and unlocking full potential. Because it was in us all along to be who we are. Cinderella was who she was, nothing could dampen her spirit and courage. She had her values and principles, despite being treated unfairly and horribly by her step mother and sisters. She persevered in the face of difficulties. She made use of her suffering to become stronger. [MEDIA=youtube]ZpkIPtYw01k[/MEDIA] For, me, my family was not outrageously dysfunctional, perhaps, mildly. I do think that I found strength and purpose bearing children and am thankful for the blessings. When the kids went off the rails, it was a pain that ripped to the core of me. Awoke many old, deep feelings. I am sorry Cedar, to suffer when our children suffer, and not have understanding and love from family. That is ugly. "The stepmother is mean to Cinderella and favors her own “ugly” daughters. Symbolically, the female gender represents the affection or love of some worldview. This tells us that a harmful influence and its derivative (and ugly) offspring are threatening Cinderella’s soul and its rightful goodness (birthright)." [MEDIA=youtube]TrxJeKnKaAk[/MEDIA] We are all imperfect and make mistakes. My kids were quick to point out instances that I wish I could have done a better job. There was a point in my grieving over my two that I felt awfully guilty, but I think that is part of the process. Reviewing and wondering, if I had done this, or that. In the long run, it is up to all of us to find our way out of the fog, even the kids. I would imagine most parents in the throes of this, even ones who did not come through difficult childhoods and dysfunctional families, went through a time of guilt and felt responsible for the choices the kids made. You are not a beggar Cedar. All of the stuff stuck way down deep turns around to this inner voice that can be so negative and self destructive. Remnants of the past came roaring forward. But, we are clearing out the cinders. Cinderella thought no less of herself when her step-mother reduced her to a maid to do her bidding. Yes, it hurt deeply, but she knew who the liar was. No, you are not a beggar. Nor, are you a pebble in anyones shoe. We didn't believe in our own ability, we forgot, Cedar, what it took to survive. We forgot that what we needed was within us all along. We forgot how incredibly brave we were, and are. "Therefore, the fairy godmother’s turning a pumpkin into a coach, represents turning goodness into doctrine or vehicle to carry one through life. Turning mice into horses represents transforming something small and insignificant in one’s mind into a greater capacity for understanding—which pulls one’s heart and belief system in the right direction." [MEDIA=youtube]QkLxurvlNj0[/MEDIA] Sweep out the cinders. I like that image very much Cedar, how strong the little girl is. “To be sure, man's search for meaning may arouse inner tension rather than inner equilibrium. However, precisely such tension is an indispensable prerequisite of mental health. There is nothing in the world, I venture to say, that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one's life. There is much wisdom in the words of Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how”― [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2782.Viktor_E_Frankl']Viktor E. Frankl[/URL], [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3389674']Man's Search for Meaning[/URL] It is a theft. It is the difference between empowering, and power over. The truth, is we [I]never [/I]gave them permission to power over. I believe we held on tightly to the part of us they were trying to smother. It is up to us to clear out any remnants left, to see through our own eyes and to empower ourselves. We have to work hard at cleaning out the remaining cinders left from the hearth of our past. We are present, and this is our "ever after". Time to grab hold of life and live it, joyfully. [MEDIA=youtube]ZGFHY5JjTZQ[/MEDIA] (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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