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Family dynamics and dealing with a typical teen
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 383103" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>One thing we did in a parenting group was to first define characteristics of a good boss, meaning a good employer. Then we defined characteristics of a bad boss/employer. We talked about how we would feel if we had a boss with all the bad characteristics that we had to work with. Then how we would feel if we had to LIVE with the bad boss. </p><p> </p><p>We then looked at our parenting to see how we could use more of the "good boss" characteristics, because in reality we are the bosses of our kids. They feel much the same way toward us when we are acting with the "bad boss" qualities as we would feel toward a bad boss. </p><p> </p><p>Every single one of us saw great improvement, relatively speaking of course, when we worked to use more of the "good boss" characteristics in our parenting styles. One mom INSISTED that the ONLY way to get her child to do anything was to stand over him (he was about 6) and direct his every single movement. She refused to see how anything else would work. Near the end of the program she finally tried letting him get ready for school using the more positive methods (not just this one, but several other things too) - she was shocked because he not only did everything, he gave her a big hug and told her he loved her, esp when she wasn't so angry all the time!</p><p> </p><p>I am NOT saying that you or your husband do what she did, just that sometimes we drift into bad habits as parents. Looking at ourselves and our parenting objectively, as though we were treating an employee the way we treat our kids, can help us learn to use better ways to parent our kids.</p><p> </p><p>Your husband might find that rather than imposing a punishment on her time with you, he can do other things to get her to treat both you and him with more respect.</p><p> </p><p>Just an idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 383103, member: 1233"] One thing we did in a parenting group was to first define characteristics of a good boss, meaning a good employer. Then we defined characteristics of a bad boss/employer. We talked about how we would feel if we had a boss with all the bad characteristics that we had to work with. Then how we would feel if we had to LIVE with the bad boss. We then looked at our parenting to see how we could use more of the "good boss" characteristics, because in reality we are the bosses of our kids. They feel much the same way toward us when we are acting with the "bad boss" qualities as we would feel toward a bad boss. Every single one of us saw great improvement, relatively speaking of course, when we worked to use more of the "good boss" characteristics in our parenting styles. One mom INSISTED that the ONLY way to get her child to do anything was to stand over him (he was about 6) and direct his every single movement. She refused to see how anything else would work. Near the end of the program she finally tried letting him get ready for school using the more positive methods (not just this one, but several other things too) - she was shocked because he not only did everything, he gave her a big hug and told her he loved her, esp when she wasn't so angry all the time! I am NOT saying that you or your husband do what she did, just that sometimes we drift into bad habits as parents. Looking at ourselves and our parenting objectively, as though we were treating an employee the way we treat our kids, can help us learn to use better ways to parent our kids. Your husband might find that rather than imposing a punishment on her time with you, he can do other things to get her to treat both you and him with more respect. Just an idea. [/QUOTE]
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