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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 443525" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>So far you're handling the situation well. </p><p></p><p>That said, I think you need to get to the bottom of your daughter's behavior to find out what is really going on. 11 yr old is too old for the natural "show and tell" of young children. That she bribed the boy also throws up a red flag. If it were me, I'd be thinking long and hard if there have been any situations that left your daughter open to sexual abuse. Trust me....it actually doesn't take much and abusers don't look like monsters. So it can be difficult to detect That this is her 2nd caught episode also worries me. Abused children tend to act out behaviorally due to that abuse. </p><p></p><p>I'd be cautious in my approach, though. While I'd try to make her understand this behavior is unacceptable, I'd also be careful not to make an enormous deal out of it. If either you or your ex are close to her you could sit down and ask if anyone has approached her inappropriately. Therapy for her is a good idea anyway.</p><p></p><p>As for the boy, good for him for telling. He should be told that was the right thing to do and praised for being brave enough to do so. I don't agree with therapy for the boy. If this was a one time event, there is really no need of therapy for a show and tell moment. He did exactly what he should've done. No sense in making a mountain out of a molehill.....and buying possible more trouble. I'd just make sure the boy and your daughter never again have a moment alone together.</p><p></p><p>I want to commend you for looking for help. So many parents refuse to believe that their child could possibly do such a thing and never seek either the reason why, nor help for that child so the behavior continues only on a more sneakier level. At the moment your wife is justifiably upset and angry, but her request that your daughter not return is not reasonable, she's your child regardless of her behavior. She's in momma bear mode and protecting her cub. I think if you and ex take an active role to discover what is behind the behavior and take necessary steps to prevent a repeat performance your wife will feel much better about the situation.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 443525, member: 84"] So far you're handling the situation well. That said, I think you need to get to the bottom of your daughter's behavior to find out what is really going on. 11 yr old is too old for the natural "show and tell" of young children. That she bribed the boy also throws up a red flag. If it were me, I'd be thinking long and hard if there have been any situations that left your daughter open to sexual abuse. Trust me....it actually doesn't take much and abusers don't look like monsters. So it can be difficult to detect That this is her 2nd caught episode also worries me. Abused children tend to act out behaviorally due to that abuse. I'd be cautious in my approach, though. While I'd try to make her understand this behavior is unacceptable, I'd also be careful not to make an enormous deal out of it. If either you or your ex are close to her you could sit down and ask if anyone has approached her inappropriately. Therapy for her is a good idea anyway. As for the boy, good for him for telling. He should be told that was the right thing to do and praised for being brave enough to do so. I don't agree with therapy for the boy. If this was a one time event, there is really no need of therapy for a show and tell moment. He did exactly what he should've done. No sense in making a mountain out of a molehill.....and buying possible more trouble. I'd just make sure the boy and your daughter never again have a moment alone together. I want to commend you for looking for help. So many parents refuse to believe that their child could possibly do such a thing and never seek either the reason why, nor help for that child so the behavior continues only on a more sneakier level. At the moment your wife is justifiably upset and angry, but her request that your daughter not return is not reasonable, she's your child regardless of her behavior. She's in momma bear mode and protecting her cub. I think if you and ex take an active role to discover what is behind the behavior and take necessary steps to prevent a repeat performance your wife will feel much better about the situation. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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