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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 662724" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It makes sense that a little kid in an abusive situation would focus all the bad feelings for the abusive mother onto the pseudo-mom <em>without ever knowing she had done so. </em>To feel hatred or rage or resentment toward a parent (hello, Freud) requires the child to face what, for an abused child, are very real mortality and abandonment issues. It makes sense that the pseudo-mom would be a safe target for those feelings. Pseudo-mom cannot kill or desert you. Real mom comes out smelling like a rose; if only pseudo-mom were out of the picture all together, it would be safe <em>and possible </em>truly to love the real mom.</p><p></p><p>The sibling carrying those feelings would not even have to be pseudo-mom. Any sibling would do. In the weird reality of the dysfunctional family where the real mother turns glass-eyed with hatred, hatred for the sibs would be seen as right and appropriate thing just as love for the sibs is seen as right in a loving family.</p><p></p><p>If this could be true, it would explain the things I have seen from my sister.</p><p></p><p>That could be a reason why my sister would be so happy her parents were visiting that she would dance around her own kitchen like a ballerina for her parents at the age of fifty-something. <em>Now that the others, those other children who made you so angry are far away, we can be the family we should have been all along.</em></p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 662724, member: 17461"] It makes sense that a little kid in an abusive situation would focus all the bad feelings for the abusive mother onto the pseudo-mom [I]without ever knowing she had done so. [/I]To feel hatred or rage or resentment toward a parent (hello, Freud) requires the child to face what, for an abused child, are very real mortality and abandonment issues. It makes sense that the pseudo-mom would be a safe target for those feelings. Pseudo-mom cannot kill or desert you. Real mom comes out smelling like a rose; if only pseudo-mom were out of the picture all together, it would be safe [I]and possible [/I]truly to love the real mom. The sibling carrying those feelings would not even have to be pseudo-mom. Any sibling would do. In the weird reality of the dysfunctional family where the real mother turns glass-eyed with hatred, hatred for the sibs would be seen as right and appropriate thing just as love for the sibs is seen as right in a loving family. If this could be true, it would explain the things I have seen from my sister. That could be a reason why my sister would be so happy her parents were visiting that she would dance around her own kitchen like a ballerina for her parents at the age of fifty-something. [I]Now that the others, those other children who made you so angry are far away, we can be the family we should have been all along.[/I] Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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