My primary task is to decide the course I want to take with my son. That has two parts.
What do I want to help him do? What do I need to teach him or show him?
The gist is: he is responsible to take care of himself and to control behaviors that hurt others, to stop them. That is his primary responsibility. He may not like that medications cause side effects to him. His welfare is NOT the most important thing. Protecting others, IS the most important thing. Until he finds an alternative medication that does not have side effects, he is still responsible to take a psychotropic medication that controls aggressive behavior.
I will separate myself to him to the extent I need to to protect myself from his mistreatment and disrespect. I will tell him that. Right now that means he will not visit my home.
This (from the prior post) demonstrates the attitude I have taken and what I am trying to teach him. Am I on the right track?
My second decision is how much and what to do for him, actually. I will stop seeking to be his payee.
I must decide how much to help him seek psychiatric treatment and whether or not to help him to get treatment for his liver.
I left him with these requests: On Monday call the Hepatologist, make another appointment and get paperwork for blood work faxed. And clean up those two hospital bills by calling (he has both public medical coverage and private insurance through my retirement that I managed to maintain for him.) I told him I would call the University Satellite clinic to arrange a psychiatry consult and evaluation for him.
I do not think I can go again with him to the BIG CITY. He is not trustworthy. I cannot put myself in that position. But I believe I must do what I can about his dangerous mental state. What I can do and am willing to do is accompany him to a nearby City (1 hour). Is this stance appropriate?
There are two decisions about help. One about his liver. This involves a 14 hour trip with him to a large metro area. We saw how that went. One about psychiatry. That I think I can do in a metro area an hour away.
Do you think either is appropriate? Neither? Both?
Is the stance I am taking adequate? What more do I need to say? Please spell it out in words and I will read it.
If M comes back from mass (i.e. not seize the opportunity to return to Mx) I will talk to him again about the intent to leave for the faraway city as soon as possible after Sept 18th.
Thank you.
