Copa,
I must back up and read more because I obviously missed something(s) huge that happened recently with your son. But, please know that I am following this and feel so badly for you.
Cedar and SWOT are doing a wonderful job talking with you. They are correct- you are a fine, caring human being. I am also grateful they are being tough with you, as in helping you see your value and not wanting you to risk unnecessary pain.
And, pain. This thread can be almost too much to read in big chunks. This is inner-most gut kind of talk. I am glad these conversations are happening. The fact that they are sometimes so painful to read lets me know a lot of this needs to be said and read.
SS