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Family Reunion From Hell
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661339" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Guys, I know you're angry and not used to families taking back promises, but it happens all the time. Maybe, after discussing it and thinking about it, they just didn't want to do it...and they are not responsible for him. Nobody is but himself. He can't do this alone, but he should be able to in my opinion. How your son feels is important, but he didn't make anyone else feel good either and he SCARED your elderly parents. I'd be fuming...at him. Your family is not responsible for him. Whether they feel he is a real family member of not, they sure treated him more like one than many of us were treated in our biological families. I believe this is on him and who he is and what he does...and, Lord, he should not have had a knife. Disturbed adults and any sort of weapons don't mix.</p><p></p><p>In the end, this is reallly your son's fault, if fault must be established. Humans are humans and make bad decisions under stress. Everyone is trying to figure out what to do about your son. Everyone except him. There's something wrong here.</p><p></p><p>Often our disturbed adult children cause a lot of chaos in the family. He is indeed alone with you and Jabber and I hope he doesn't wear that out. I doubt the girlfriend will be a solution or last long.</p><p></p><p>I know this is not a post that says the family was wrong, and I may be the only one who gets the ambivalence of thought and action when dealing with a very disturbed, ungrateful and not-even-my-own child, but I do get it. I lived in a chaotic family and nothing spells chaos like a young man who wants his relatives to fix it yet can't behave around them.</p><p></p><p>In the end, I feel empathy for all of you. I hope your son gets his act together so that your family never has to make these decisions again or go out of their way for him again. He is the one, in my opinion, who bears this...it is h is problem.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to both of you. I care about you very much, but your son needs to stop causing this kind of drama and involving the extended family in his play. This is what happens...people who love each other go after each other...when a difficult child takes control and sucks the air out of everyone's space. I am so sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661339, member: 1550"] Guys, I know you're angry and not used to families taking back promises, but it happens all the time. Maybe, after discussing it and thinking about it, they just didn't want to do it...and they are not responsible for him. Nobody is but himself. He can't do this alone, but he should be able to in my opinion. How your son feels is important, but he didn't make anyone else feel good either and he SCARED your elderly parents. I'd be fuming...at him. Your family is not responsible for him. Whether they feel he is a real family member of not, they sure treated him more like one than many of us were treated in our biological families. I believe this is on him and who he is and what he does...and, Lord, he should not have had a knife. Disturbed adults and any sort of weapons don't mix. In the end, this is reallly your son's fault, if fault must be established. Humans are humans and make bad decisions under stress. Everyone is trying to figure out what to do about your son. Everyone except him. There's something wrong here. Often our disturbed adult children cause a lot of chaos in the family. He is indeed alone with you and Jabber and I hope he doesn't wear that out. I doubt the girlfriend will be a solution or last long. I know this is not a post that says the family was wrong, and I may be the only one who gets the ambivalence of thought and action when dealing with a very disturbed, ungrateful and not-even-my-own child, but I do get it. I lived in a chaotic family and nothing spells chaos like a young man who wants his relatives to fix it yet can't behave around them. In the end, I feel empathy for all of you. I hope your son gets his act together so that your family never has to make these decisions again or go out of their way for him again. He is the one, in my opinion, who bears this...it is h is problem. Hugs to both of you. I care about you very much, but your son needs to stop causing this kind of drama and involving the extended family in his play. This is what happens...people who love each other go after each other...when a difficult child takes control and sucks the air out of everyone's space. I am so sorry. [/QUOTE]
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