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Family Reunion From Hell
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 661425" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>(big long sigh). It is SO HARD. All of this is SO HARD. </p><p></p><p>And then to compound the pain, we get caught up in: she said, he said, she did, he did. Or what people didn't do.</p><p></p><p>Most of the world does not know the pain of loving our precious precious children who do not act like the rest of the world acts. </p><p></p><p>We are ashamed. </p><p></p><p>That is the root of it. Al-Anon is so good about helping with guilt and shame. </p><p></p><p>I remember first going in there and hearing people talk about guilt and shame, and asking myself: Self, do you feel guilt and shame over Difficult Child? Heck no, Self said, I KNOW I was a good mother, this is ON HIM.</p><p></p><p>Well, of course, I did feel guilt and shame, but I couldn't admit it or see it at that point. I was also in denial.</p><p></p><p>This merry go round just keeps on turning. Us and them. </p><p></p><p>People---us, them, our families---are just so darn human. We all mess up...a lot. </p><p></p><p>Question is: How do we handle it when we mess up? That is what I am trying to learn, how to handle the messes I make (letting other people worry about their own messes) a lot better. That is a full time job---Me. </p><p></p><p>It's still hard. All of it. : (</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 661425, member: 17542"] (big long sigh). It is SO HARD. All of this is SO HARD. And then to compound the pain, we get caught up in: she said, he said, she did, he did. Or what people didn't do. Most of the world does not know the pain of loving our precious precious children who do not act like the rest of the world acts. We are ashamed. That is the root of it. Al-Anon is so good about helping with guilt and shame. I remember first going in there and hearing people talk about guilt and shame, and asking myself: Self, do you feel guilt and shame over Difficult Child? Heck no, Self said, I KNOW I was a good mother, this is ON HIM. Well, of course, I did feel guilt and shame, but I couldn't admit it or see it at that point. I was also in denial. This merry go round just keeps on turning. Us and them. People---us, them, our families---are just so darn human. We all mess up...a lot. Question is: How do we handle it when we mess up? That is what I am trying to learn, how to handle the messes I make (letting other people worry about their own messes) a lot better. That is a full time job---Me. It's still hard. All of it. : ( [/QUOTE]
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