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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 661456" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>No. You aren't wrong. I actually don't mind people talking about my son and what he's done. I know what he's done. I'm not pretending I have the perfect child. Heck, I'm likely to spill my guts to anyone who will listen.</p><p> </p><p>But it DOES bother me a LOT that people suddenly started acting like he's some sociopathic serial killer that's going to murder them in their sleep. I'm not just talking about your parents locking their door. Did ONE of your family members suggest he stay with them a day or two to give your parents less stress? Your youngest sis said to me before she even took him to grandma's that he couldn't be around her daughter. He'd done NOTHING at that point. The comment was made when your middle sis was saying she was going to take him to a hotel, "But you have your granddaughter." Like he's going to suddenly decide to hurt a 4 year old or something, or at lease somehow traumatize her with his presence. He is NOT dangerous and it ticks me off no end that they are acting like they have to hide their babies (and parents) from him!</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Yeah, that upset me too. In fact, pretty much everything upset me. But they acted like we suddenly foisted off this horrible person on them when all we asked for was one ride to the town and one ride to a shelter. We NEVER asked them to do anything and really, coming from your oldest sis who I've met about 3 times, really ticked me off. He's 20 years old not 12. Try TALKING to HIM.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Of course we are. I laid awake far too long last night rehearsing what I will have to say to Jabber's parents. One line that never changed is, <em>"I'm so ashamed of the way he's behaved and I'm so sorry that you were made to feel unsafe in your own home."</em> I'm ashamed that I raised a young man who would shout at his grandparents, who still throws tantrums when something goes wrong like a big, scary 3-year-old, who never listens to people who know what they're talking about, who never follows good advice, who lies, who steals, who won't buckle down and work for a living, who wants everything handed to him, who'd rather leave and never come back than do 40 hours of window washing, who is mooching off a young girl who apparently adores him, who constantly says he's going to do one thing and does another, who blames <em>everyone </em>for his problems but himself...He's MINE. I gave birth to him. I contributed half his genes. I raised him. I can't ever, no matter how hard I try, get over the feeling that I must have done <em>something</em> wrong. I must have somehow messed up. <strong>Some of what he is has to be my fault.</strong></p><p> </p><p>Other people I know, their kids are going to college, working full time, getting married, joining the service, becoming fricking Eagle Scouts! But mine - I don't know how to not be ashamed.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>And you know, that's part of the problem both ways. They don't KNOW him...they don't know that he wouldn't actually be dangerous to anyone I suppose. But it still ticks me off no end that they don't ASK either! They NEVER talked to US.</p><p> </p><p>And there's a little hypocrisy too. Their kids, especially middle sis's are hardly perfect! Okay...some of their kids are perfect...but hers? Two boys with drug issues, one who had two babies and a 3rd on the way before he married the girl, daughter with a baby out of wedlock too and I won't even go into the oldest boy's brilliance. That's why I'm so mad at her. It really is. After all she went thru with hers - and I note she never threw out any one of them - she thinks she has the right to teach us tough love?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And while I'm on the subject, that's something else that really made our kid mad. When I took him aside to talk to him at one point he asked if I knew Jabber's oldest sis was pregnant when she got married. I told him yes, and 2nd oldest never married her child's father...what was the point? The point was that his aunts clearly were having sex before marriage and yet grandparents were telling him he was doing something awful by moving in with this girl. Add that to the atheist thing, to the gay marriage thing, etc., etc...</p><p> </p><p>The whole darn thing was just such a cluster from day one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 661456, member: 17309"] No. You aren't wrong. I actually don't mind people talking about my son and what he's done. I know what he's done. I'm not pretending I have the perfect child. Heck, I'm likely to spill my guts to anyone who will listen. But it DOES bother me a LOT that people suddenly started acting like he's some sociopathic serial killer that's going to murder them in their sleep. I'm not just talking about your parents locking their door. Did ONE of your family members suggest he stay with them a day or two to give your parents less stress? Your youngest sis said to me before she even took him to grandma's that he couldn't be around her daughter. He'd done NOTHING at that point. The comment was made when your middle sis was saying she was going to take him to a hotel, "But you have your granddaughter." Like he's going to suddenly decide to hurt a 4 year old or something, or at lease somehow traumatize her with his presence. He is NOT dangerous and it ticks me off no end that they are acting like they have to hide their babies (and parents) from him! Yeah, that upset me too. In fact, pretty much everything upset me. But they acted like we suddenly foisted off this horrible person on them when all we asked for was one ride to the town and one ride to a shelter. We NEVER asked them to do anything and really, coming from your oldest sis who I've met about 3 times, really ticked me off. He's 20 years old not 12. Try TALKING to HIM. Of course we are. I laid awake far too long last night rehearsing what I will have to say to Jabber's parents. One line that never changed is, [I]"I'm so ashamed of the way he's behaved and I'm so sorry that you were made to feel unsafe in your own home."[/I] I'm ashamed that I raised a young man who would shout at his grandparents, who still throws tantrums when something goes wrong like a big, scary 3-year-old, who never listens to people who know what they're talking about, who never follows good advice, who lies, who steals, who won't buckle down and work for a living, who wants everything handed to him, who'd rather leave and never come back than do 40 hours of window washing, who is mooching off a young girl who apparently adores him, who constantly says he's going to do one thing and does another, who blames [I]everyone [/I]for his problems but himself...He's MINE. I gave birth to him. I contributed half his genes. I raised him. I can't ever, no matter how hard I try, get over the feeling that I must have done [I]something[/I] wrong. I must have somehow messed up. [B]Some of what he is has to be my fault.[/B] Other people I know, their kids are going to college, working full time, getting married, joining the service, becoming fricking Eagle Scouts! But mine - I don't know how to not be ashamed. And you know, that's part of the problem both ways. They don't KNOW him...they don't know that he wouldn't actually be dangerous to anyone I suppose. But it still ticks me off no end that they don't ASK either! They NEVER talked to US. And there's a little hypocrisy too. Their kids, especially middle sis's are hardly perfect! Okay...some of their kids are perfect...but hers? Two boys with drug issues, one who had two babies and a 3rd on the way before he married the girl, daughter with a baby out of wedlock too and I won't even go into the oldest boy's brilliance. That's why I'm so mad at her. It really is. After all she went thru with hers - and I note she never threw out any one of them - she thinks she has the right to teach us tough love? And while I'm on the subject, that's something else that really made our kid mad. When I took him aside to talk to him at one point he asked if I knew Jabber's oldest sis was pregnant when she got married. I told him yes, and 2nd oldest never married her child's father...what was the point? The point was that his aunts clearly were having sex before marriage and yet grandparents were telling him he was doing something awful by moving in with this girl. Add that to the atheist thing, to the gay marriage thing, etc., etc... The whole darn thing was just such a cluster from day one. [/QUOTE]
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