Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Fearing the worst
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 647946" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>LMS1, I am so sorry for your heartbreak. You have gotten great support and thoughts here---please read and reread.</p><p></p><p>You also know what you must do but as we all know, it is so very hard. And then even though we know---we slip up. </p><p></p><p>That's what he does, too. He knows, but he slips up. </p><p></p><p>Over time, can you see the correlation? You and I and he and my son are the same. We are trying to learn a new way of living because we are sick and so very tired of THIS way of living (at least you and I are) but we don't do the hard work of change consistently in order to have the support we need to create a whole new way of living for ourselves.</p><p></p><p>It's the very same thing for us and for them.</p><p></p><p>We must change our daily lives in order to stop enabling. They must change their daily lives in order to stop using.</p><p></p><p>We must have a consistent system of tools and support in order to stop enabling. They must have a consistent system of tools and support in order to stop using.</p><p></p><p>And then, because we are all so very human, we will slip and we will mess up.</p><p></p><p>Sigh. A very serious sigh. So, what to do?</p><p></p><p>Start the hard work of change in your own life. Over time, you will be able to let go of him more and more and more.</p><p></p><p>Realize that there is no one wrong move you are going to make that is going to cause him to get worse...or better. You just aren't that powerful.</p><p></p><p>He will do what he does. You will do what you do.</p><p></p><p>If you truly want to change, you will, over time and with lots of hard work, a support system and tools (like Al-Anon, like this board, like reading books every day, like writing in a journal every day, like prayer/meditation/quiet time, etc.). </p><p></p><p>It is a daily practice. That is what it requires, because it's just too hard otherwise.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. Please keep posting. We are with you here. We get it and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 647946, member: 17542"] LMS1, I am so sorry for your heartbreak. You have gotten great support and thoughts here---please read and reread. You also know what you must do but as we all know, it is so very hard. And then even though we know---we slip up. That's what he does, too. He knows, but he slips up. Over time, can you see the correlation? You and I and he and my son are the same. We are trying to learn a new way of living because we are sick and so very tired of THIS way of living (at least you and I are) but we don't do the hard work of change consistently in order to have the support we need to create a whole new way of living for ourselves. It's the very same thing for us and for them. We must change our daily lives in order to stop enabling. They must change their daily lives in order to stop using. We must have a consistent system of tools and support in order to stop enabling. They must have a consistent system of tools and support in order to stop using. And then, because we are all so very human, we will slip and we will mess up. Sigh. A very serious sigh. So, what to do? Start the hard work of change in your own life. Over time, you will be able to let go of him more and more and more. Realize that there is no one wrong move you are going to make that is going to cause him to get worse...or better. You just aren't that powerful. He will do what he does. You will do what you do. If you truly want to change, you will, over time and with lots of hard work, a support system and tools (like Al-Anon, like this board, like reading books every day, like writing in a journal every day, like prayer/meditation/quiet time, etc.). It is a daily practice. That is what it requires, because it's just too hard otherwise. Warm hugs. Please keep posting. We are with you here. We get it and we care. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Fearing the worst
Top