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Fears coming to fruitation...
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<blockquote data-quote="HopeRemains" data-source="post: 568451" data-attributes="member: 14139"><p>allhaileris- Oh, I am so sorry that happened to you guys! Caregiver burnout... yeah that's me. But I've been burnt out for years and just more and more miserable everyday. My husband is happy NOT to be involved and would rather just let things go than make waves with difficult child. I guess it's a combination of everything that has me on the floor. In all actuality, I feel like I'm being stronger than in the past by saying NO MORE. If x,y and z don't happen, I've told husband that I am gone. (This includes moving to the city so I can be part of society again, getting me a car and my refusal to be alone with difficult child.) I really don't think it's too much to ask for, but I've been begging for YEARS for this to happen. Now it's a demand and I will leave if husband puts a guilt trip on me for it or it's too much to ask of him. </p><p></p><p>I believe in a family unit strongly. That's why the decision to actually leave will wreak havoc on me. Especially for easy child... but I can't figure out if leaving would be better or keeping him in a whole dysfunctional family would be better? After difficult child's threats to him and current "murderer" talk, I am thinking that I would be a fool to wait around to see if they pan out or not. (Last night at the hardware store, difficult child picked up a pipe wrench and said that "a murderer would just swing this and bash your brains out".) He got mad at us when we told him not to say things like that. I was telling my Mom about it and she's freaking out. She stayed here for a few months last year while recovering from chemo and she's seen the darkness in difficult child (he pushed her into the counter when she told him he couldn't have something). Something in his eyes when he is intent on hurting you one way or the other is very scary. He's always had it. (But never seriously hurt anyone physically, yet.) It was in his eyes when he told me he was telling his Mom I put the marks on him. He spoke like an adult, a scary adult who knew what he was doing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HopeRemains, post: 568451, member: 14139"] allhaileris- Oh, I am so sorry that happened to you guys! Caregiver burnout... yeah that's me. But I've been burnt out for years and just more and more miserable everyday. My husband is happy NOT to be involved and would rather just let things go than make waves with difficult child. I guess it's a combination of everything that has me on the floor. In all actuality, I feel like I'm being stronger than in the past by saying NO MORE. If x,y and z don't happen, I've told husband that I am gone. (This includes moving to the city so I can be part of society again, getting me a car and my refusal to be alone with difficult child.) I really don't think it's too much to ask for, but I've been begging for YEARS for this to happen. Now it's a demand and I will leave if husband puts a guilt trip on me for it or it's too much to ask of him. I believe in a family unit strongly. That's why the decision to actually leave will wreak havoc on me. Especially for easy child... but I can't figure out if leaving would be better or keeping him in a whole dysfunctional family would be better? After difficult child's threats to him and current "murderer" talk, I am thinking that I would be a fool to wait around to see if they pan out or not. (Last night at the hardware store, difficult child picked up a pipe wrench and said that "a murderer would just swing this and bash your brains out".) He got mad at us when we told him not to say things like that. I was telling my Mom about it and she's freaking out. She stayed here for a few months last year while recovering from chemo and she's seen the darkness in difficult child (he pushed her into the counter when she told him he couldn't have something). Something in his eyes when he is intent on hurting you one way or the other is very scary. He's always had it. (But never seriously hurt anyone physically, yet.) It was in his eyes when he told me he was telling his Mom I put the marks on him. He spoke like an adult, a scary adult who knew what he was doing. [/QUOTE]
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