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Fears coming to fruitation...
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<blockquote data-quote="HopeRemains" data-source="post: 568748" data-attributes="member: 14139"><p>JJJ- I have voiced over these last couple of months that maybe if difficult child and biomom want to be with eachother so badly, then let them? husband will have none of it. I even voiced that I am of this sort of opinion with the therapist in front of husband the other day. Because difficult child is feeding off of biomom and vice versa. (She is difficult child in her own right.) Of course when I say this I feel selfish and horrid, because I know that biomom will cause even more harm to difficult child during this course and her husband has been found guilty of child abuse against difficult child when he was 2 yrs old for choking him. I also understand husband because even if I feel like saying "GIVE HIM TO HER, THEN!", I know it would be to an emotionally and physically abusive household. I wouldn't think well of husband if he gave difficult child to her, even if I sometimes am not in the right mindset. Unfortunately, this means that I will have to leave with easy child. </p><p></p><p>I expressed my concerns to husband last night and told him that we are going to have to have seperate housing situations. While I feel that it is imperative not to let biomom have custody for further damage, I also feel awful for easy child, who really has no chance at a normal family because of it. Not to mention myself, but I am going to be so happy to have some sort of life that I'm not at all worried about me. </p><p></p><p>The result of that conversation was that husband actually listened tonight when I was reading about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and discussed things with me. I think he is not truely recognizing that I am not going to change my mind and trying to keep me from leaving by being very attentive. This is his way, though, the way he's kept me here for so long without me realizing it. He is... the water torturer. ( <a href="https://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&sclient=psy-ab&q=toxic+people+water+torture&oq=toxic+people+water+torture&gs_l=hp.3..33i21.1250.8041.0.8227.28.25.1.0.0.3.1608.12017.3-3j3j8j1j2j1.18.0.les%3Bpchatce..0.0...1.1.KeizIrIsQmk&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355325884,d.b2U&fp=ecf2923a2536b7a5&bpcl=39967673&biw=1280&bih=602" target="_blank">https://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&sclient=psy-ab&q=toxic+people+water+torture&oq=toxic+people+water+torture&gs_l=hp.3..33i21.1250.8041.0.8227.28.25.1.0.0.3.1608.12017.3-3j3j8j1j2j1.18.0.les;pchatce..0.0...1.1.KeizIrIsQmk&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355325884,d.b2U&fp=ecf2923a2536b7a5&bpcl=39967673&biw=1280&bih=602</a>)</p><p></p><p></p><p>Whoa that is a long link. But it sums up the rest of my world a little bit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HopeRemains, post: 568748, member: 14139"] JJJ- I have voiced over these last couple of months that maybe if difficult child and biomom want to be with eachother so badly, then let them? husband will have none of it. I even voiced that I am of this sort of opinion with the therapist in front of husband the other day. Because difficult child is feeding off of biomom and vice versa. (She is difficult child in her own right.) Of course when I say this I feel selfish and horrid, because I know that biomom will cause even more harm to difficult child during this course and her husband has been found guilty of child abuse against difficult child when he was 2 yrs old for choking him. I also understand husband because even if I feel like saying "GIVE HIM TO HER, THEN!", I know it would be to an emotionally and physically abusive household. I wouldn't think well of husband if he gave difficult child to her, even if I sometimes am not in the right mindset. Unfortunately, this means that I will have to leave with easy child. I expressed my concerns to husband last night and told him that we are going to have to have seperate housing situations. While I feel that it is imperative not to let biomom have custody for further damage, I also feel awful for easy child, who really has no chance at a normal family because of it. Not to mention myself, but I am going to be so happy to have some sort of life that I'm not at all worried about me. The result of that conversation was that husband actually listened tonight when I was reading about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and discussed things with me. I think he is not truely recognizing that I am not going to change my mind and trying to keep me from leaving by being very attentive. This is his way, though, the way he's kept me here for so long without me realizing it. He is... the water torturer. ( [URL]https://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&sclient=psy-ab&q=toxic+people+water+torture&oq=toxic+people+water+torture&gs_l=hp.3..33i21.1250.8041.0.8227.28.25.1.0.0.3.1608.12017.3-3j3j8j1j2j1.18.0.les%3Bpchatce..0.0...1.1.KeizIrIsQmk&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355325884,d.b2U&fp=ecf2923a2536b7a5&bpcl=39967673&biw=1280&bih=602[/URL]) Whoa that is a long link. But it sums up the rest of my world a little bit. [/QUOTE]
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