I feel bad because I got into a pretty nasty altercation with our difficult child this evening. She has been on a roll this week, seems like every 5 minutes she has an outburst over something really petty. Plus as some of you read the other night about our 7 hour homework battle. I have done VERY WELL all week dealing with her rages (I have not even so much as raised my voice at her, I have been the perfect picture of calm for like, the last 2 or 3 weeks, which is VERY HARD FOR ME), until tonight I was so at the end of my rope and I sort of lost my temper and yelled at her....I feel really bad about it now, but she was throwing some sort of a tantrum being really nasty and refusing to do what she was told, and I looked at her and yelled "not only do you have a bad attitude but you cant F****** listen either" and made her go outside to cool herself off, but also so that I could separate us so I could recompose myself as well. (Having our two smaller children in the house with me and them not being allowed any contact with difficult child unsupervised by myself or my husband, it was not exactly feasible for me to be the one to go outside, so I had to send her instead, plus I was cooking). I know it has been discussed on this board before about parents having moments where they lost it with their difficult child's and I was wondering the best way to recover from that. I feel as though I should say something to her about it, but I need to find a good way to say I am sorry about MY attitude without EXCUSING HERS...if that makes any sense. I am afraid that if I apologize and admit that it wasn't right for me to yell at her, then she will think that since I was wrong, she must have been right, and I don't want her to think that what she did was okay either.