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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 237020" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Thanks for your thoughts. I'm wondering this morning if I overreacted because difficult child hasn't been physically violent toward any of us since last summer, when he chased easy child 3 around the dining room swinging at him, and even then I think he didn't really intend to make contact - he wanted to intimidate. But he's done the weird knife stuff in the house and he uses low-level physical intimidation off and on. "At least he didn't come at me with a knife" is exactly the thought process ... 'he says offensive and crazy-sounding things but he didn't actually hit me or pick up a weapon, so it must not have been that bad'.</p><p></p><p>I sort of wish I hadn't said I would call the P.O. and report him if he does it again. I don't know what the circumstance might be, and now if I don't report him it'll send a message that he can say anything. I know we all make judgments about whether to report things to POs given individual circumstances and I think that's an appropriate thing. Now I feel like I've tied my own hands to some extent.</p><p></p><p>husband is taking easy child 1 and easy child 3 to Canada this weekend to see husband's ailing mother. I'll be home with daughter and difficult child. I think difficult child is going to avoid me, although I'm sure he'll expect to be driven to work and home again at 3 am! I'm not looking forward to the weekend, I hate this malaise that consumes the family when things are going sour with difficult child. I want to focus on other things! I wish so much that difficult child would make peaceful plans to move in with a friend; I would help him move, give him kitchen stuff we have saved for the kids moving out, etc. I want him to succeed. I don't want him to either a) leave and go back to drugs or b) continue living this hostile non-life in our basement working a few hours per week, planning nothing, and 'living' online. </p><p></p><p>Just feel like the detachment and firm principles I've been developing and working on are a little shaky and beaten down. I guess it'll be hard when he goes, given the way he'll probably leave. Maybe I should just prepare for that, assume the worst, and then if it's better it'll be a nice surprise.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 237020, member: 2884"] Thanks for your thoughts. I'm wondering this morning if I overreacted because difficult child hasn't been physically violent toward any of us since last summer, when he chased easy child 3 around the dining room swinging at him, and even then I think he didn't really intend to make contact - he wanted to intimidate. But he's done the weird knife stuff in the house and he uses low-level physical intimidation off and on. "At least he didn't come at me with a knife" is exactly the thought process ... 'he says offensive and crazy-sounding things but he didn't actually hit me or pick up a weapon, so it must not have been that bad'. I sort of wish I hadn't said I would call the P.O. and report him if he does it again. I don't know what the circumstance might be, and now if I don't report him it'll send a message that he can say anything. I know we all make judgments about whether to report things to POs given individual circumstances and I think that's an appropriate thing. Now I feel like I've tied my own hands to some extent. husband is taking easy child 1 and easy child 3 to Canada this weekend to see husband's ailing mother. I'll be home with daughter and difficult child. I think difficult child is going to avoid me, although I'm sure he'll expect to be driven to work and home again at 3 am! I'm not looking forward to the weekend, I hate this malaise that consumes the family when things are going sour with difficult child. I want to focus on other things! I wish so much that difficult child would make peaceful plans to move in with a friend; I would help him move, give him kitchen stuff we have saved for the kids moving out, etc. I want him to succeed. I don't want him to either a) leave and go back to drugs or b) continue living this hostile non-life in our basement working a few hours per week, planning nothing, and 'living' online. Just feel like the detachment and firm principles I've been developing and working on are a little shaky and beaten down. I guess it'll be hard when he goes, given the way he'll probably leave. Maybe I should just prepare for that, assume the worst, and then if it's better it'll be a nice surprise. [/QUOTE]
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