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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 237367" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>You are doing a good job, Katya. I know how hard it is to want to be a loving, warm, sympathetic mom and have to be really hard nosed instead. That was the only thing we could do with my difficult child too. And anytime I started feeling sorry for her and saw her as vulnerable or that she couldn't help how she was it backfired--I had to stay really neutral and matter of fact and sometimes angry.</p><p></p><p>We've spoken about why she was so difficult back then (she hasn't lived with us for nearly 3 yrs) and she doesn't understand why, says she really had a bad case of ODD. She says whatever it was we wanted her to do she would do the opposite and now it seems really stupid to her.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, stay strong--you are seeing the good behavior it seems to bring about.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 237367, member: 3208"] You are doing a good job, Katya. I know how hard it is to want to be a loving, warm, sympathetic mom and have to be really hard nosed instead. That was the only thing we could do with my difficult child too. And anytime I started feeling sorry for her and saw her as vulnerable or that she couldn't help how she was it backfired--I had to stay really neutral and matter of fact and sometimes angry. We've spoken about why she was so difficult back then (she hasn't lived with us for nearly 3 yrs) and she doesn't understand why, says she really had a bad case of ODD. She says whatever it was we wanted her to do she would do the opposite and now it seems really stupid to her. Good luck, stay strong--you are seeing the good behavior it seems to bring about. Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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