Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Feel like I am losing my family
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 592796" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I learned a unique way of coping with family, plus I have my own definition of family, partly because three of my kids are adopted.</p><p></p><p>1/Family is not a choice. We can not pick and choose who we share DNA with.</p><p></p><p>2/Real family is who loves you and treats you with respect. Even DNA related people are in my opinion expendable if they are mean to us. Nobody should put up with being treated like garbage by anyone just because of a DNA connection. I pick my friends/family. My DNA cohorts are in my life by accident and only when I want them there.</p><p></p><p>You aren't losing your family. These people never loved you the right way or treated you the way you deserve. You can't lose anything you never had. Do you have a nice group of friends? I only have ever had a few close friends and to me they are my real brothers and sisters. As for the DNA people I've been tossed with, my mother disowned me and didn't like me and I wasted half my life trying to make her like me because of DNA. Sorry I wasted my time. Wasn't worth it. She disinherited me anyway and was cruel when we had interactions. My father DNAer is not a nice man. I talk to him just enough to keep him happy. He isn't that interested in my life anyway and cares even less about his grands. He has a great grandson he has never seen and has no interest in seeing. Brother lives in NJ...nice guy when I see him. Sister is on and off again...can be nasty and get jealous. </p><p></p><p>My friends would never do the things to me that my DNA family has. I have learned to value the most those who value me. I lavish my affection on those people, not the DNAers who are either mean to me or don't care about me.</p><p></p><p>The opposite of what my family did to me (ignore) is what your family is doing to you (control in a mean way). It's up to you, but do you really need them that much? Why? Do you think your parents are so clueless that they don't know EXACTLY what they are doing to you? When they say very hurtful things about your parenting, they don't know it? It's not on purpose? Would they have liked it if their parents had done this to THEM? </p><p></p><p>They will chase easy child away and it will be their faults. Nobody likes a guilt trip.</p><p></p><p>Counseling really helped me with my DNA family issues. Sometimes it's good to take long breaks from DNAers and never just lay down and let them do what they want. Stick up for yourself! </p><p></p><p>I don't miss the DNAers that I choose to avoid a lot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 592796, member: 1550"] I learned a unique way of coping with family, plus I have my own definition of family, partly because three of my kids are adopted. 1/Family is not a choice. We can not pick and choose who we share DNA with. 2/Real family is who loves you and treats you with respect. Even DNA related people are in my opinion expendable if they are mean to us. Nobody should put up with being treated like garbage by anyone just because of a DNA connection. I pick my friends/family. My DNA cohorts are in my life by accident and only when I want them there. You aren't losing your family. These people never loved you the right way or treated you the way you deserve. You can't lose anything you never had. Do you have a nice group of friends? I only have ever had a few close friends and to me they are my real brothers and sisters. As for the DNA people I've been tossed with, my mother disowned me and didn't like me and I wasted half my life trying to make her like me because of DNA. Sorry I wasted my time. Wasn't worth it. She disinherited me anyway and was cruel when we had interactions. My father DNAer is not a nice man. I talk to him just enough to keep him happy. He isn't that interested in my life anyway and cares even less about his grands. He has a great grandson he has never seen and has no interest in seeing. Brother lives in NJ...nice guy when I see him. Sister is on and off again...can be nasty and get jealous. My friends would never do the things to me that my DNA family has. I have learned to value the most those who value me. I lavish my affection on those people, not the DNAers who are either mean to me or don't care about me. The opposite of what my family did to me (ignore) is what your family is doing to you (control in a mean way). It's up to you, but do you really need them that much? Why? Do you think your parents are so clueless that they don't know EXACTLY what they are doing to you? When they say very hurtful things about your parenting, they don't know it? It's not on purpose? Would they have liked it if their parents had done this to THEM? They will chase easy child away and it will be their faults. Nobody likes a guilt trip. Counseling really helped me with my DNA family issues. Sometimes it's good to take long breaks from DNAers and never just lay down and let them do what they want. Stick up for yourself! I don't miss the DNAers that I choose to avoid a lot. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Feel like I am losing my family
Top