Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
feeling anxious
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 114809" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Stands,</p><p>The fact that you feel good when you can detach and rise above the chaos is great! That's a huge step forward.</p><p></p><p>You have been taking care of your son's every need for a long long time, and it's a very hard pattern to break. I think it's hard enough to let go of our PCs, and even harder when we know that our children have so many struggles ahead of themselves.</p><p></p><p>But...it's not fair to your son to keep fighting his battles for him. If he doesn't learn how to fend for himself in the world, what on earth will he do when he's 50?</p><p></p><p>I have a friend whose 55 year old brother still lives at home with their now 80s-and-ailing parents. The brother has Asperger's syndrome just like my difficult child does, but his parents never let him develop the coping skills he needs, so now he can't function in the world. Now they are old and sick, and forced to make some terribly hard choices for their son. If they had let him out into the world to learn and grow himself, he would have a much easier time of it now. </p><p></p><p>When it came time to decide whether to struggle along with our difficult child at home, or put him in a long-term Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with a transition program into adult assisted living, I looked at what my friend's parents are dealing with, and jumped at the chance for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). This way, my difficult child at least has a chance at learning the life skills he needs to survive. </p><p></p><p>Your son deserves the same chance...to succeed or fail on his own.</p><p></p><p>And you, Stands...you deserve to have that good feeling that comes from not owning other people's problems much more often. </p><p></p><p>Hang onto that feeling. Learn what it is that makes you feel that way, and do more of that. If it means volunteering, praying, weaving baskets or whatever, you need to look after you.</p><p></p><p>All the best, and gentle hugs.</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 114809, member: 3907"] Stands, The fact that you feel good when you can detach and rise above the chaos is great! That's a huge step forward. You have been taking care of your son's every need for a long long time, and it's a very hard pattern to break. I think it's hard enough to let go of our PCs, and even harder when we know that our children have so many struggles ahead of themselves. But...it's not fair to your son to keep fighting his battles for him. If he doesn't learn how to fend for himself in the world, what on earth will he do when he's 50? I have a friend whose 55 year old brother still lives at home with their now 80s-and-ailing parents. The brother has Asperger's syndrome just like my difficult child does, but his parents never let him develop the coping skills he needs, so now he can't function in the world. Now they are old and sick, and forced to make some terribly hard choices for their son. If they had let him out into the world to learn and grow himself, he would have a much easier time of it now. When it came time to decide whether to struggle along with our difficult child at home, or put him in a long-term Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with a transition program into adult assisted living, I looked at what my friend's parents are dealing with, and jumped at the chance for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). This way, my difficult child at least has a chance at learning the life skills he needs to survive. Your son deserves the same chance...to succeed or fail on his own. And you, Stands...you deserve to have that good feeling that comes from not owning other people's problems much more often. Hang onto that feeling. Learn what it is that makes you feel that way, and do more of that. If it means volunteering, praying, weaving baskets or whatever, you need to look after you. All the best, and gentle hugs. Trinity [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
feeling anxious
Top