I guess my new post will be feeling anxious. I have decided it is not a good idea to bail hiim out. I wish it was never brought to my attention - it tends to make me feel guilty - that I am leaving him in the worse place and not trying tohelp him get help!!!!! Anyway, I feel I am an addict just like him - except I am addicted tohim - when I feel like I am about to give in or buy into his chaous I get this anxious feeling - almost like a panic attack! I hate that feeling - it is between fear and trying to fix. I am a lot better than I used to be. I have detached and am trying to rise above the chaous. We cant do it without our Higher Power (God to me). When you feel like you have risen above the chaous - it feels good. Sometimes I have felt that way - but then I relapse back into trying to come up with a solution so everyone would be at peace. I wish I didnt have to feel this way - especially when I talk to him. I just want to be normal and talk to him because he is my son. I think I am just crazy.