I don’t understand why he doesn’t shower. I couldn’t deal with that.
Your husband has allowed him to become this way, but his biological mother is also at fault. He’s in denial and probably thinks it’s too late to straighten him out. I see a very bleak future for your stepson—crime, dropping out of school, drugs, homelessness. Sounds like he unofficially dropped out already. Your husband feels like he’s in an impossible situation because he doesn’t want to have to choose you over his son, or vice- versa.