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Feeling helpless
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 730515" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Amy,</p><p>I'm sorry the heartache and worry you are experiencing. </p><p>From what you have shared you have a good understanding that your daughter has submitted to the boyfriends controlling behavior. Sadly, there is nothing you can do about it. I would venture a guess that any ill feelings your daughter has towards you is due to the boyfriends manipulation of her.</p><p>It's hard not to worry but please understand you are wasting your precious energy on something you have zero control over. </p><p>I would suggest you step back from all of this for a while, say a week. What does that look like?, no checking FB or your phone to see if she's called or texted. After a week send her a text or leave a voice mail, keep it simple, say something like "hi hon, it's mom, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and love you" Try not to give into your fears and say something like "I'm worried sick, why haven't you called"</p><p>When it comes to dealing with our difficult adult children, keeping our emotions in check with them is huge. You see, they will use our emotions and our fear against us.</p><p></p><p>Here is a very good article on detachment. I suggest you print it out and read it several times.</p><p><a href="https://conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">Article on Detachment</a></p><p></p><p>Detaching with love from our difficult adult children is necessary in order for us to maintain our sanity.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here with us. Others will come along and share.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 730515, member: 18516"] Hi Amy, I'm sorry the heartache and worry you are experiencing. From what you have shared you have a good understanding that your daughter has submitted to the boyfriends controlling behavior. Sadly, there is nothing you can do about it. I would venture a guess that any ill feelings your daughter has towards you is due to the boyfriends manipulation of her. It's hard not to worry but please understand you are wasting your precious energy on something you have zero control over. I would suggest you step back from all of this for a while, say a week. What does that look like?, no checking FB or your phone to see if she's called or texted. After a week send her a text or leave a voice mail, keep it simple, say something like "hi hon, it's mom, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and love you" Try not to give into your fears and say something like "I'm worried sick, why haven't you called" When it comes to dealing with our difficult adult children, keeping our emotions in check with them is huge. You see, they will use our emotions and our fear against us. Here is a very good article on detachment. I suggest you print it out and read it several times. [URL="https://conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/"]Article on Detachment[/URL] Detaching with love from our difficult adult children is necessary in order for us to maintain our sanity. I'm glad you are here with us. Others will come along and share. ((HUGS)) to you................. [/QUOTE]
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