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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 730787" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p><em>Amy2355, I am trying so hard to detach. My daughter's boyfriend is about as awful as they come. I try each day to find things about him that are ok, one thing he has not hit her. I call this a miracle because she can push someone to that level quickly. I have seen her with black eyes before, years ago and when I ask her what happened she would make up some BS. she would not tell me the truth because then she would have to tell me what lead up to that and I am sure she was the cause. How old is your daughter? If you added more to your signature we all could get a better picture on what to say.</em></p><p><em>My daughter is 35, soon to be 36. For some reason I am having an easier time detaching these last few weeks..</em></p><p><em>My daughter's boyfriend is someone that I would avoid. My husband says he is sneaky, I think he is severe ADHD with no social skills. My daughter and her friends think he is above average in his looks, and at one time, if you did not know his personality you would think he was a good looking guy but since I know his personality so to me he has nothing attractive at all. Personality is everything. No matter what the shell looks like, with a great personality they are the best looking person in the world.</em></p><p><em>I have seen my daughter date very good looking intelligent men. It does not last. She has been with her 1/2 ass boyfriend a man her dad and I do not approve of for over 8 years off and on. I believe in my heart that he is still in love with his ex girlfriend. I know this through mothers intuition. I have seen pictures of the ex and she looks like a nice girl. She probably could not put up with his nasty self any longer. The ex was his style and I wished they could have worked it out. </em></p><p><em>I have to work on healthy detachment everyday. I know the value of a close relationship, I know the strength that comes from that, I know how each person can benefit deeply from such a bond but I have to realize it takes 2 to make that bond happen and it is so painful when you want that bond and the other person is destroying it. This walk is hard, very hard. I am learning to fill that need. Today I cleaned all the fans in the house, I went outside and cleaned the outside fans too and as the dirt came off I invisioned the dirt coming off my pain, that is what is helping me right now, deep cleaning and as I deep clean, my soul is getting a deep cleaning. I hope you are doing something, anything that is healing for you.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 730787, member: 22416"] [I]Amy2355, I am trying so hard to detach. My daughter's boyfriend is about as awful as they come. I try each day to find things about him that are ok, one thing he has not hit her. I call this a miracle because she can push someone to that level quickly. I have seen her with black eyes before, years ago and when I ask her what happened she would make up some BS. she would not tell me the truth because then she would have to tell me what lead up to that and I am sure she was the cause. How old is your daughter? If you added more to your signature we all could get a better picture on what to say. My daughter is 35, soon to be 36. For some reason I am having an easier time detaching these last few weeks.. My daughter's boyfriend is someone that I would avoid. My husband says he is sneaky, I think he is severe ADHD with no social skills. My daughter and her friends think he is above average in his looks, and at one time, if you did not know his personality you would think he was a good looking guy but since I know his personality so to me he has nothing attractive at all. Personality is everything. No matter what the shell looks like, with a great personality they are the best looking person in the world. I have seen my daughter date very good looking intelligent men. It does not last. She has been with her 1/2 ass boyfriend a man her dad and I do not approve of for over 8 years off and on. I believe in my heart that he is still in love with his ex girlfriend. I know this through mothers intuition. I have seen pictures of the ex and she looks like a nice girl. She probably could not put up with his nasty self any longer. The ex was his style and I wished they could have worked it out. I have to work on healthy detachment everyday. I know the value of a close relationship, I know the strength that comes from that, I know how each person can benefit deeply from such a bond but I have to realize it takes 2 to make that bond happen and it is so painful when you want that bond and the other person is destroying it. This walk is hard, very hard. I am learning to fill that need. Today I cleaned all the fans in the house, I went outside and cleaned the outside fans too and as the dirt came off I invisioned the dirt coming off my pain, that is what is helping me right now, deep cleaning and as I deep clean, my soul is getting a deep cleaning. I hope you are doing something, anything that is healing for you.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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