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Feeling helpless
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 731385" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Boy, oh boy can I related to this. My 37 year old borderline daughter has the same pattern or not listening or wanting guidance but wanting to be rescued every time she chooses another loser for a boyfriend. Now there are grand kids, too. I stepped in and spent thousands of dollars, rescued, took her in, bailed her out of jail, and on, and on. He gratitude was always only momentary. I finally said enough - that I love her, but I can't keep rescuing her. When she left the last abuser and asked to move back home, I said no, and I meant it. She cut off all contact with me, and says I'll never see her or the grandchildren again. As much as it hurts, I can live with that if it means being free of the abuse, disrespect, and disregard for me. </p><p></p><p>For all the parents who have done their best, and for all of us who are imperfect, which is everyone, you deserve to protect yourself, to be kind to yourself, to set boundaries, and to use your resources to take care of yourself. That's not selfish or unloving. It's healthy self-interest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 731385, member: 19832"] Boy, oh boy can I related to this. My 37 year old borderline daughter has the same pattern or not listening or wanting guidance but wanting to be rescued every time she chooses another loser for a boyfriend. Now there are grand kids, too. I stepped in and spent thousands of dollars, rescued, took her in, bailed her out of jail, and on, and on. He gratitude was always only momentary. I finally said enough - that I love her, but I can't keep rescuing her. When she left the last abuser and asked to move back home, I said no, and I meant it. She cut off all contact with me, and says I'll never see her or the grandchildren again. As much as it hurts, I can live with that if it means being free of the abuse, disrespect, and disregard for me. For all the parents who have done their best, and for all of us who are imperfect, which is everyone, you deserve to protect yourself, to be kind to yourself, to set boundaries, and to use your resources to take care of yourself. That's not selfish or unloving. It's healthy self-interest. [/QUOTE]
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