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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 656796" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I feel bad for your hurting heart, but I'm logical and realistic, even when my own kids got into trouble although they chose not to take it so far they went to jail.Threatening somebody is scary to the victim and dangerous and illegal. He is not doing anything productive right now as it is so how much worse can it get? Jail has straightened out a few of our adult kids. Yes, adult. He is not your baby and has not been for TWENTY EIGHT years. You are afraid of him. He has to learn that if he threatens people he WILL get into trouble.</p><p></p><p>And he's dead wrong if he thinks no parent would call the cops on their kids. I did. I hoped it would help my daughter stop using drugs and she did stop. Your son needs to quit the Adderrall and if he is truly a narcicistic personality, there is nothing you can do for him except learn better ways to cope with his manipulations and outbursts and attempts to make you feel guilty so that you will do whatever he asks you to do and treat him as if he is an innocent ten year old who needs his mommy.</p><p></p><p>You are not helping to destroy your son. By letting him get away with being dangerous and on drugs, THAT would be helping to destroy him. You'd be sitting by letting him end up in jail anyway when he did it to a stranger AND put his own life in danger by his drug use and behavior.</p><p></p><p>I hope you're not paying for that lawyer. That's your decision of course but it is destructive to both ourselves and to our loved ones when we enable criminal behavior. The way he is going, he will never live a normal life. Whether he ever does or not is up to him, not you.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart. I understand, but think you are thinking about this the wrong way. Maybe don't talk to your manipulative son for a few days. He is going to "play" you like a fiddle.</p><p></p><p>They always panic when you get caught. That's no surprise. What surprises them is that they may have to face discipline that is out of their hands. They should have thought of that before doing it. I do feel sorry for you. I hope your son gets his act together. It's his call. Maybe he'll stop threatening his ex.</p><p></p><p>While your son is acting dangerous, in my opinion he should not be allowed to be around his son. If it were MY son, I'd be trying to keep him AWAY from my grandchild.</p><p></p><p>This is NOT your world. He is seperate from you and you would not do the things he has done. It is your son's world and now he may have to live in it and it's NOT YOUR FAULT, even if he tries to guilt yout hat it is. If you thought he might kill you...that's pretty serious violence. You need to think with your head, not your heart, and think bout what he did to prompt your call. He sounds very angry and needs to learn to control it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 656796, member: 1550"] Well, I feel bad for your hurting heart, but I'm logical and realistic, even when my own kids got into trouble although they chose not to take it so far they went to jail.Threatening somebody is scary to the victim and dangerous and illegal. He is not doing anything productive right now as it is so how much worse can it get? Jail has straightened out a few of our adult kids. Yes, adult. He is not your baby and has not been for TWENTY EIGHT years. You are afraid of him. He has to learn that if he threatens people he WILL get into trouble. And he's dead wrong if he thinks no parent would call the cops on their kids. I did. I hoped it would help my daughter stop using drugs and she did stop. Your son needs to quit the Adderrall and if he is truly a narcicistic personality, there is nothing you can do for him except learn better ways to cope with his manipulations and outbursts and attempts to make you feel guilty so that you will do whatever he asks you to do and treat him as if he is an innocent ten year old who needs his mommy. You are not helping to destroy your son. By letting him get away with being dangerous and on drugs, THAT would be helping to destroy him. You'd be sitting by letting him end up in jail anyway when he did it to a stranger AND put his own life in danger by his drug use and behavior. I hope you're not paying for that lawyer. That's your decision of course but it is destructive to both ourselves and to our loved ones when we enable criminal behavior. The way he is going, he will never live a normal life. Whether he ever does or not is up to him, not you. Hugs for your hurting heart. I understand, but think you are thinking about this the wrong way. Maybe don't talk to your manipulative son for a few days. He is going to "play" you like a fiddle. They always panic when you get caught. That's no surprise. What surprises them is that they may have to face discipline that is out of their hands. They should have thought of that before doing it. I do feel sorry for you. I hope your son gets his act together. It's his call. Maybe he'll stop threatening his ex. While your son is acting dangerous, in my opinion he should not be allowed to be around his son. If it were MY son, I'd be trying to keep him AWAY from my grandchild. This is NOT your world. He is seperate from you and you would not do the things he has done. It is your son's world and now he may have to live in it and it's NOT YOUR FAULT, even if he tries to guilt yout hat it is. If you thought he might kill you...that's pretty serious violence. You need to think with your head, not your heart, and think bout what he did to prompt your call. He sounds very angry and needs to learn to control it. [/QUOTE]
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