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Feeling like a bad parent?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 60065" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I can only refer you back to "Explosive Child" to eventually get the kids to at least listen a little more. With it, it might work. Without it, nothing will work.</p><p></p><p>The problem is, you are a single parent. This means - people will blame you more (because frankly, you can't fight back as easily and it gives them a sense of power and superiority).</p><p></p><p>Being a single parent can make you a lot more prone to then take on board the load of guilt thrown at you. Do your best to not do this - guilt is crippling, paralysing and slows you down as a parent. It has no value here.</p><p></p><p>Then on top of this - being a single parent means double the workload, double the problems, halve the coping chances. Not good.</p><p></p><p>So if you're extra busy, extra tired, short of the vital time you need to be able to take with your children, doubting yourself more than you should - is it any wonder you find your child won't listen? Life is ganging up on both of you.</p><p></p><p>There isn't an easy answer, other than to make changes. But making changes is very confronting when you're trying to juggle so much on your own.</p><p></p><p>The first place to start, is with YOU. Learn to value yourself and have faith in yourself. Learn to respect yourself. Because until you do, your kids won't respect you either.</p><p>Next step - work on communication with the kids. This means talking and listening, on a shared basis. Learning & teaching mutual consideration. It takes time and is always a work in progress, even as they approach functional adulthood.</p><p></p><p>And last - recognise that you will make mistakes. We all do. Admit them, apologise for them then move on and leave the mistakes behind.</p><p></p><p>It's not your fault that you are a single parent (or it might be - I don't know. But it doesn't matter now, it's just the way it is). This is just what you have to live with. Life is like a vacuum cleaner (it <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />). </p><p></p><p>You have enough problems already. Don't let anybody dump any more on you. You deserve better. You deserve to love and trust yourself. Just deal with the day to day and let "what if"s go.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 60065, member: 1991"] I can only refer you back to "Explosive Child" to eventually get the kids to at least listen a little more. With it, it might work. Without it, nothing will work. The problem is, you are a single parent. This means - people will blame you more (because frankly, you can't fight back as easily and it gives them a sense of power and superiority). Being a single parent can make you a lot more prone to then take on board the load of guilt thrown at you. Do your best to not do this - guilt is crippling, paralysing and slows you down as a parent. It has no value here. Then on top of this - being a single parent means double the workload, double the problems, halve the coping chances. Not good. So if you're extra busy, extra tired, short of the vital time you need to be able to take with your children, doubting yourself more than you should - is it any wonder you find your child won't listen? Life is ganging up on both of you. There isn't an easy answer, other than to make changes. But making changes is very confronting when you're trying to juggle so much on your own. The first place to start, is with YOU. Learn to value yourself and have faith in yourself. Learn to respect yourself. Because until you do, your kids won't respect you either. Next step - work on communication with the kids. This means talking and listening, on a shared basis. Learning & teaching mutual consideration. It takes time and is always a work in progress, even as they approach functional adulthood. And last - recognise that you will make mistakes. We all do. Admit them, apologise for them then move on and leave the mistakes behind. It's not your fault that you are a single parent (or it might be - I don't know. But it doesn't matter now, it's just the way it is). This is just what you have to live with. Life is like a vacuum cleaner (it :censored:). You have enough problems already. Don't let anybody dump any more on you. You deserve better. You deserve to love and trust yourself. Just deal with the day to day and let "what if"s go. Marg [/QUOTE]
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