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Feeling like a terrible mother but....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 655242" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Weary, I have been reading along since last night, not knowing what to say. Yeah, I could say I would do xx and xx. But, really...who knows what I would do in your place.</p><p></p><p>Let me share a bit of what is going on here, that may or may not be relevant. My son called me this morning distraught. He had been hoping to return to a large city near us, to rejoin a friend. Over the past 10 years or so my son has visited there and stayed there...most recently about 3 months ago.</p><p></p><p>The father this morning told him that he would never forgive my son's behavior....that there is nothing that he could do in this lifetime where he would allow my son to stay there or reintegrate into their family.</p><p></p><p>My son expressed that he had lost everything. He had burned all of his bridges in life and had nowhere to go...nothing to hope for. This childhood friend and his father are from a country where my son and I lived for some time...and loved. The friendship predates our travel there...My son very much identifies with the culture and speaks the language. The friend has been the link to this culture and community for the past almost 10 years since we left the country. Unfortunately, my son has no other real peer group and no other plan in place except to return to this area.</p><p></p><p> I tried to express the concept of darkness and storm before things get better...and my son corrected my understanding of the phrase.</p><p></p><p>Then he floored me: He said, Mom, can I go to xxx in xxx? For months I have been talking about a community in my faith...that deals with recovery in spiritual terms....</p><p></p><p>So here it was that my son...in what feels to him to be such a dark hour...has at least thought about the possibility of doing something radically good for him. Why? Because he sees no roads forward or out of the current world that he has constructed....</p><p></p><p>I see your daughter in a similar strait, with the same possibility.</p><p></p><p>Now, I refuse to hope, because in my son's life I have no power or control. But the stakes for us could not be higher: we are talking about their souls...and their bodies...and their hearts. And our own. My son is my only child.</p><p></p><p>While each of our circumstances are more or less different...our struggle is the same. My heart is with you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 655242, member: 18958"] Weary, I have been reading along since last night, not knowing what to say. Yeah, I could say I would do xx and xx. But, really...who knows what I would do in your place. Let me share a bit of what is going on here, that may or may not be relevant. My son called me this morning distraught. He had been hoping to return to a large city near us, to rejoin a friend. Over the past 10 years or so my son has visited there and stayed there...most recently about 3 months ago. The father this morning told him that he would never forgive my son's behavior....that there is nothing that he could do in this lifetime where he would allow my son to stay there or reintegrate into their family. My son expressed that he had lost everything. He had burned all of his bridges in life and had nowhere to go...nothing to hope for. This childhood friend and his father are from a country where my son and I lived for some time...and loved. The friendship predates our travel there...My son very much identifies with the culture and speaks the language. The friend has been the link to this culture and community for the past almost 10 years since we left the country. Unfortunately, my son has no other real peer group and no other plan in place except to return to this area. I tried to express the concept of darkness and storm before things get better...and my son corrected my understanding of the phrase. Then he floored me: He said, Mom, can I go to xxx in xxx? For months I have been talking about a community in my faith...that deals with recovery in spiritual terms.... So here it was that my son...in what feels to him to be such a dark hour...has at least thought about the possibility of doing something radically good for him. Why? Because he sees no roads forward or out of the current world that he has constructed.... I see your daughter in a similar strait, with the same possibility. Now, I refuse to hope, because in my son's life I have no power or control. But the stakes for us could not be higher: we are talking about their souls...and their bodies...and their hearts. And our own. My son is my only child. While each of our circumstances are more or less different...our struggle is the same. My heart is with you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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