So my Difficult Child hasn't made any contact with me until last night. She called about 10pm, very happy and bubbly and wanted to tell me about her day. Apparently, she and this guy she's been staying with have been painting houses and doing small repair and remodel jobs She was very excited to have spent the day up on a ladder painting a house and hanging gutters and the guy ( I don't know what to call him) paid her half of the day's pay. She was very clear spoken and for the first time sounded sober but that doesn't really mean anything. She said how appreciative she was of him picking her up on the side of the road two weeks ago and bringing him into his family, gives her shelter, food and basically gives her a life and he didn't even really know her....how dumb does that sound? I was glad to hear from her, I was glad to hear she's alive and she's okay BUT I am also so disgusted with the fact that she would call me, all happy and giddy with her life I could just scream. What my H and I gave her wasn't shelter, a life, food, security, love, support, clothing, luxury items, vacations, need I list more? None of that matters...but this guy, he is simply amazing -what a wonderful human being to do all these things for her! Isn't he great? Really? I guess I'm hateful and probably sound like a terrible mother but I cannot have some chatty, normal-type conversation with my Difficult Child that has caused so much trouble, pain, money and is wanted by the law, a drug user, etc etc.... I know it's her life, she can do what she wants and I want her to do just that but at this point, I'm not ready to have these little friendly chats - not with the person that has literally almost killed me with the years of crap she has doled out. Her complete lack of respect for anyone but herself, her inability or refusal to accept accountability for anything she has done or does do and the lack of regard for the wake of destruction behind her is baffling to me. Maybe I'll be ready one day but as you can tell, I need some space from her and I don't know how long at this point because I'm just plain mad. I can't even 'fake' on the phone, it makes me sick and annoyed. My question is, will my unwillingness and inability to have any kind of relationship with her be damaging in the long haul? I know it sounds like I want my cake and eat it too but the truth is, I don't like her right now and I need some real distance - not just lack of seeing her but no phone calls either which she has shown me is completely impossible but I DO want to eventually have a relationship with her after I've gotten over some of this animosity. I know time will heal and fade some of it and one day I hope we can have a relationship but it's going to take time and therapy for me to get there.