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Feeling like a terrible mother but....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 655331" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Weary, just so you know this, as I set boundaries with my daughter she went through a lot of changes.......she responded very differently with me as I held strong......like you I felt it was genuine.......with each step, and it took awhile, this did not happen in a month or two, she kept getting more sincere, more calm, more respectful and she stopped manipulating and being disrespectful. For me, her responses were a direct result of my strong boundary. Little by little she got real, she softened. She has NOT changed her lifestyle, that is her choice, but she and I forged ahead creating a new bridge to stand on.</p><p></p><p>I realize that this does not always happen, some kids do not change. But it did happen with my daughter and I. I just wanted to mention that so that you know there are many possible outcomes......and also I wanted to say that I believe your daughter is being sincere. I believe when we stop buying their antics, they can, not always, but they can stop acting badly and start to get real. Like my daughter, they may not stop their lifestyle, but their love and respect for you begins to show up once again. In the end, that is what I wanted, the connection with my daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 655331, member: 13542"] Weary, just so you know this, as I set boundaries with my daughter she went through a lot of changes.......she responded very differently with me as I held strong......like you I felt it was genuine.......with each step, and it took awhile, this did not happen in a month or two, she kept getting more sincere, more calm, more respectful and she stopped manipulating and being disrespectful. For me, her responses were a direct result of my strong boundary. Little by little she got real, she softened. She has NOT changed her lifestyle, that is her choice, but she and I forged ahead creating a new bridge to stand on. I realize that this does not always happen, some kids do not change. But it did happen with my daughter and I. I just wanted to mention that so that you know there are many possible outcomes......and also I wanted to say that I believe your daughter is being sincere. I believe when we stop buying their antics, they can, not always, but they can stop acting badly and start to get real. Like my daughter, they may not stop their lifestyle, but their love and respect for you begins to show up once again. In the end, that is what I wanted, the connection with my daughter. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling like a terrible mother but....
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