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Feeling literally sick over grandson
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 601687" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>What an awful interaction, Midwest Mom. I would cry, too. The thought that he would ask you to pretend to be him is bad enough ~ but that he would ask you to do that on a site called "Plenty of Fish" is stunningly inappropriate.</p><p></p><p>I don't find any of it comical, Midwest. You have been deeply wounded by someone who only has access to you because you love him ~ which means you are vulnerable to him. You need to be better protected when you talk to this person. Write down the hurtful things so you can counter them. You don't want that toxicity contaminating your thoughts unopposed.</p><p></p><p>Do you need to go through difficult child to see or contact your grandson? Have you explored other options, such as Grandparents' Rights groups? Even if you cannot see him, if you buy him little things and save them for him, if you send cards (and money) for birthdays and holidays...grandson will know, and will be curious about, you. You will know he is out there somewhere, growing healthy and strong.</p><p></p><p>Fostering a child who needs your love is a beautiful idea. :O)</p><p></p><p>Have you read the Patricia Evans books, Midwest? She writes about the nature of the verbally abusive relationship ~ and there IS another kind of relationship playing along underneath, when one partner abuses the other. </p><p></p><p>Is it possible to keep to a more scripted interaction with this son? </p><p></p><p>The McCoy link at the bottoms of my postings explores different options for how to interact with our troubled adult children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 601687, member: 1721"] What an awful interaction, Midwest Mom. I would cry, too. The thought that he would ask you to pretend to be him is bad enough ~ but that he would ask you to do that on a site called "Plenty of Fish" is stunningly inappropriate. I don't find any of it comical, Midwest. You have been deeply wounded by someone who only has access to you because you love him ~ which means you are vulnerable to him. You need to be better protected when you talk to this person. Write down the hurtful things so you can counter them. You don't want that toxicity contaminating your thoughts unopposed. Do you need to go through difficult child to see or contact your grandson? Have you explored other options, such as Grandparents' Rights groups? Even if you cannot see him, if you buy him little things and save them for him, if you send cards (and money) for birthdays and holidays...grandson will know, and will be curious about, you. You will know he is out there somewhere, growing healthy and strong. Fostering a child who needs your love is a beautiful idea. :O) Have you read the Patricia Evans books, Midwest? She writes about the nature of the verbally abusive relationship ~ and there IS another kind of relationship playing along underneath, when one partner abuses the other. Is it possible to keep to a more scripted interaction with this son? The McCoy link at the bottoms of my postings explores different options for how to interact with our troubled adult children. [/QUOTE]
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