Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling Lost and Alone
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 675688" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi and so sorry about your daughter.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is at a stage where her caring side has been kidnapped by her drug(s) of choice. My daughter started with pot, but quickly moved on to ADHD drugs, mainly Adderrall. It has a high street value and they put them in pillcrushers and snort them alone or with other drugs. My own personal opinion, and I could be wrong, is that Adderrall is dangerous as are all stimulants. I would no longer give a young child a stimulant for ADHD no matter what, but that doesn't mean this is the right thing to do. With my experience, I could not. My daughter ended up using meth. Any kind of speed.</p><p></p><p>When our adult kids are on drugs they lie as the drugs are all important to them. They steal. They do anything to get their drugs and stealing is almost mandatory since few work. They hang with bad people because people on the right road don't want to hang with drug users. But...</p><p></p><p>You can't help your daughter or make her stop. I couldn't either. It is only within our power to change ourselves, not anyone else, and the way WE react to our adult children who steal from us, use drugs in our home, abuse us verbally and refuse to get help. That is what we have control over. Often it means setting an ultimatum such as rehab or you are out. You have to decide what path is best for your family. If this were me, the daughter would get no more money from me nor anything else in the way of toys...not until she stops. A car would be out of the question...she could kill somebody w hile high. My daughter had three serious car accidents. One was so bad that she owed a woman money years after she quit using drugs and, because of good behavior for so long, my ex husband (her dad) finallly paid the last of the thousands she owed. We did not want to contribute to her death or someone else's so after first accident, we took the keys. She DID find idiot friends who let her drive and those were her other two accidents. After she quit, she did not try to drive again a nd did not have a car nor did she live with us. She worked for the little money she had and things kept going up for her and twelve years later she is good. There is hope, but I don't feel it works if we help them while they are so irresponsible and using.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are sad during these holidays and give you a cyber-hug, and hope for a change in your daughter's value system. In the meantime, don't dwell on her all the time. It won't help her and it may literally kill you or make you very ill. Focus on your own well being and those of your loved ones who are functional and fun...it is imperative that we continue to not put our lives on hold due to our adult children who refuse to quit using drugs. If you have other kids (I think you said you did) focus on them a nd your husband, if there is one, and friends and co-workers. You need to be healthy and sane. YOU matter too, as much as your daughter does. We ALL matter.</p><p></p><p>Others will come along, maybe with better advice. Stick with us. We care. I recommend Al-Anon or a private therapist for you to get face time help from. I used both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 675688, member: 1550"] Hi and so sorry about your daughter. Your daughter is at a stage where her caring side has been kidnapped by her drug(s) of choice. My daughter started with pot, but quickly moved on to ADHD drugs, mainly Adderrall. It has a high street value and they put them in pillcrushers and snort them alone or with other drugs. My own personal opinion, and I could be wrong, is that Adderrall is dangerous as are all stimulants. I would no longer give a young child a stimulant for ADHD no matter what, but that doesn't mean this is the right thing to do. With my experience, I could not. My daughter ended up using meth. Any kind of speed. When our adult kids are on drugs they lie as the drugs are all important to them. They steal. They do anything to get their drugs and stealing is almost mandatory since few work. They hang with bad people because people on the right road don't want to hang with drug users. But... You can't help your daughter or make her stop. I couldn't either. It is only within our power to change ourselves, not anyone else, and the way WE react to our adult children who steal from us, use drugs in our home, abuse us verbally and refuse to get help. That is what we have control over. Often it means setting an ultimatum such as rehab or you are out. You have to decide what path is best for your family. If this were me, the daughter would get no more money from me nor anything else in the way of toys...not until she stops. A car would be out of the question...she could kill somebody w hile high. My daughter had three serious car accidents. One was so bad that she owed a woman money years after she quit using drugs and, because of good behavior for so long, my ex husband (her dad) finallly paid the last of the thousands she owed. We did not want to contribute to her death or someone else's so after first accident, we took the keys. She DID find idiot friends who let her drive and those were her other two accidents. After she quit, she did not try to drive again a nd did not have a car nor did she live with us. She worked for the little money she had and things kept going up for her and twelve years later she is good. There is hope, but I don't feel it works if we help them while they are so irresponsible and using. I am sorry you are sad during these holidays and give you a cyber-hug, and hope for a change in your daughter's value system. In the meantime, don't dwell on her all the time. It won't help her and it may literally kill you or make you very ill. Focus on your own well being and those of your loved ones who are functional and fun...it is imperative that we continue to not put our lives on hold due to our adult children who refuse to quit using drugs. If you have other kids (I think you said you did) focus on them a nd your husband, if there is one, and friends and co-workers. You need to be healthy and sane. YOU matter too, as much as your daughter does. We ALL matter. Others will come along, maybe with better advice. Stick with us. We care. I recommend Al-Anon or a private therapist for you to get face time help from. I used both. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling Lost and Alone
Top