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feeling low
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 103033" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Prayerful, it might help if you posted in the General forum. This is for parents of kids who are now adults or out of the house.</p><p></p><p>I can give you some advice about the violence. If he is hitting anyone, call the police! He needs to learn that you will not tolerate violence no matter what. Ask the police to transport him to the ER, that you feel he is a danger to others. 90% of the time, they won't do it and will just talk to him but if you call often enough, it does get their attention and they will ultimately start doing something. It's not the thing most of us want to do but our kids need to learn that violence is never acceptable.</p><p></p><p>You might give him something acceptable to hit like a punching bag or a pillow or whatever.</p><p></p><p>The defiance is hard. If you haven't read The Explosive Child yet, please do so. It can help and does give some good tips.</p><p></p><p>I found that if I didn't give my daughter a chance to lie, it helped. That is, I didn't ask if she did this or that or if this or that needed to be done. I simply told her X and happened, why I thought she did it and Y was her consequence. If she denied it, I told her I didn't care whether she did it or not -- the evidence implied she did it and she would have to bear the consequences since I could not trust her to tell me the truth. For homework, I insisted all of her teachers email me with the weekly assignments. That way, she couldn't lie and say there was no homework and if I didn't see it, it wasn't done, so no saying she did it in class and left it there. It took about 3 years but the lying did stop. It doesn't do much good to lie when no one is listening and the consequences occur no matter what.</p><p></p><p>I hope this helps a little. Do ask a moderator to move this thread to the General Forum.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 103033, member: 3626"] Prayerful, it might help if you posted in the General forum. This is for parents of kids who are now adults or out of the house. I can give you some advice about the violence. If he is hitting anyone, call the police! He needs to learn that you will not tolerate violence no matter what. Ask the police to transport him to the ER, that you feel he is a danger to others. 90% of the time, they won't do it and will just talk to him but if you call often enough, it does get their attention and they will ultimately start doing something. It's not the thing most of us want to do but our kids need to learn that violence is never acceptable. You might give him something acceptable to hit like a punching bag or a pillow or whatever. The defiance is hard. If you haven't read The Explosive Child yet, please do so. It can help and does give some good tips. I found that if I didn't give my daughter a chance to lie, it helped. That is, I didn't ask if she did this or that or if this or that needed to be done. I simply told her X and happened, why I thought she did it and Y was her consequence. If she denied it, I told her I didn't care whether she did it or not -- the evidence implied she did it and she would have to bear the consequences since I could not trust her to tell me the truth. For homework, I insisted all of her teachers email me with the weekly assignments. That way, she couldn't lie and say there was no homework and if I didn't see it, it wasn't done, so no saying she did it in class and left it there. It took about 3 years but the lying did stop. It doesn't do much good to lie when no one is listening and the consequences occur no matter what. I hope this helps a little. Do ask a moderator to move this thread to the General Forum. [/QUOTE]
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