feeling low

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by prayerful, Dec 3, 2007.

  1. prayerful

    prayerful New Member

    i feel so bad and i don't know what to do! my situtaton with my adhd / odd son is not getting any better and the doctors are not any help so i have to start that over again finding a new load of docs. i have been sick with the flu and it is hard to have physical and mental pain .

    i haven't posted in a while because i feel as though my story isn't exicting enough for a response from anyone . i am really feeling like a failure as a parent and that i am fighting a non winning battle i have done all i can do at this point i hand it all to god . I look to him for support and all my help .

    i am not looking for any response to this post just needed to vent because it helps some times plus i already know that there are going to be alot of readers and no responses well got to go feed the kiddies and take medication for my flu . :ill:

    goodbye and god bless.
  2. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed prayerful. Sometimes the journey gets so tiring. I understand.

    Probably doesn't help that you're sick.

    What specifically (if anything) is going on with your son? Has anything changed?

    Sending a hug -
  3. prayerful

    prayerful New Member

    he is very defiant he lies he is voilent and he is always in trouble is putting a strain on me and my family . and i feel alone and don't know what to do .
  4. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    What have you tried so far?

    Has he been evaluated by a good psychiatrist?

    Maybe he needs to have his medications re-evaluated?

    What kind of support system do you have?

    Others will be along to offer other ideas prayerful.

    You're not alone. Lots of parents struggle with difficult kids. It is just a matter of getting hooked up with others to get the needed answers and support.

    More hugs.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Prayerful, it might help if you posted in the General forum. This is for parents of kids who are now adults or out of the house.

    I can give you some advice about the violence. If he is hitting anyone, call the police! He needs to learn that you will not tolerate violence no matter what. Ask the police to transport him to the ER, that you feel he is a danger to others. 90% of the time, they won't do it and will just talk to him but if you call often enough, it does get their attention and they will ultimately start doing something. It's not the thing most of us want to do but our kids need to learn that violence is never acceptable.

    You might give him something acceptable to hit like a punching bag or a pillow or whatever.

    The defiance is hard. If you haven't read The Explosive Child yet, please do so. It can help and does give some good tips.

    I found that if I didn't give my daughter a chance to lie, it helped. That is, I didn't ask if she did this or that or if this or that needed to be done. I simply told her X and happened, why I thought she did it and Y was her consequence. If she denied it, I told her I didn't care whether she did it or not -- the evidence implied she did it and she would have to bear the consequences since I could not trust her to tell me the truth. For homework, I insisted all of her teachers email me with the weekly assignments. That way, she couldn't lie and say there was no homework and if I didn't see it, it wasn't done, so no saying she did it in class and left it there. It took about 3 years but the lying did stop. It doesn't do much good to lie when no one is listening and the consequences occur no matter what.

    I hope this helps a little. Do ask a moderator to move this thread to the General Forum.
  6. mary9461

    mary9461 trying to hang on

    I know that it can me very hard to continue with a situation that you don't think is getting any better. Keep sending your prayers to God and keep posting. We all know how you feel. We can't fix it but we can listen and be here for you.


  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Prayerful, I'm so sorry for your frustration. I remember those days. I'm going to transfer your post to our General Forum so that others in your same situation can join those of us in PE in giving your some hugs.

  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Prayerful, Meowbunny had an EXCELLENT suggestion, about not giving the child a chance to lie.

    Carefully choose your wording to your child, and this way it is not an either or question. Brilliant. The less opportunity he is given to lie, the less he lies. That is successfully altering your parenting to meet the needs of the child.

    Your son needs to be told that there is a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence. And if he does get violent, then call the police. He is old enough to face those consequences, and he needs to start seeing that there are natural consequences to acting out that way.

    Sending hugs your way.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry things are so frustrating right now. I know that feeling you get when things don't seem to be improving. Finding new doctors may be what is needed. This is a long journey we are on and it definitely has it's ups and downs and sometimes the downs are really low.

    It's important somehow to find some time for yourself. Take a walk, a bubble bath, read a good book. I know it's hard to find the time but it is critical. Hugs.
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just sending big hugs and strength your way. I know hard it is, and how sometimes it just feels so hopeless. There is not a day that goes by, that I am not feeling strained and stressed by my reality - and I am sure you are not different. Keep posting, and fighting the good fight. It will, somehow get better.