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Substance Abuse
Feeling sad today....
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 697654" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>RN-a big hug to you tonight.</p><p></p><p>No truer words were ever spoken than these. </p><p> </p><p>I remember reading in a book about an older couple who had promised themselves to give no more money to their drug/alcohol addicted son..and then they got a middle of the night call for a loan. Because they were caught off-guard, they fell for the sorry story once again. They quickly told him they would wire the money. Later, when they thought about it, they felt duped and foolish, regretting they'd said yes. Upon explaining this to their therapist, he recommended "don't send it" and when he calls (and he will!) just simply tell him you changed your mind. So, they awaited the phone call, it came, son was furious saying how could they go back on their word? They finally hung up on the verbal abuse. It took a long time for them to feel ok about what they had done, for the first time realizing that it was ok to change their minds and not do what they had said they would. They finally realized that their son had been saying for years that he would do certain things and never did, but that was not the standard he expected of them. </p><p>It is a complicated dance, isn't it?</p><p>I think milestones like birthdays are so hard because it takes us back to being that boy's mother, when times were so much easier. Being the man's mother is not so great with "knowing what we know". My heart goes out to you today, be sad just a little but hold your ground. Hang tight, you're stronger than you think. We're here. prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 697654, member: 20054"] RN-a big hug to you tonight. No truer words were ever spoken than these. I remember reading in a book about an older couple who had promised themselves to give no more money to their drug/alcohol addicted son..and then they got a middle of the night call for a loan. Because they were caught off-guard, they fell for the sorry story once again. They quickly told him they would wire the money. Later, when they thought about it, they felt duped and foolish, regretting they'd said yes. Upon explaining this to their therapist, he recommended "don't send it" and when he calls (and he will!) just simply tell him you changed your mind. So, they awaited the phone call, it came, son was furious saying how could they go back on their word? They finally hung up on the verbal abuse. It took a long time for them to feel ok about what they had done, for the first time realizing that it was ok to change their minds and not do what they had said they would. They finally realized that their son had been saying for years that he would do certain things and never did, but that was not the standard he expected of them. It is a complicated dance, isn't it? I think milestones like birthdays are so hard because it takes us back to being that boy's mother, when times were so much easier. Being the man's mother is not so great with "knowing what we know". My heart goes out to you today, be sad just a little but hold your ground. Hang tight, you're stronger than you think. We're here. prayers. [/QUOTE]
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