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feeling "stuck" again
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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 629651" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>Thank you wise warriors, you all seem to "GET" me better then my family or friends do. I need to keep reminding myself this is a marathon not a sprint; I tend to want to look for the quick fix or just knee jerk things back into place and that isn't going to work this time.</p><p></p><p>I realize now I just kept piling on more and more armor and instead of getting stronger I ended up so loaded down I couldn't move... I'm not a WWII tank that people are going to put a bench next to and make a park around with a bunch of memorials to fallen warriors. Oh world I'm not done with you yet and I've got to move before birds nest in my hair.</p><p></p><p>Like I mentioned to my son several months ago "it's time for me to meet a different class of people" it's not that they are bad people they are just each broken (or severely bent) having met most of them when referred to me when they needed an advocate. Being able to accept people as they are without trying to change them I've become a magnet to people diagnosed with bipolar disorder.</p><p></p><p>I believe an angel sent me that mother cat and her kittens last summer to replace my camping trip (6-8 wks every summer) and to call my attention to a problem, I can help with. It's very therapeutic trapping & hauling in cats for TNR, then giving them a safe space for a couple days to recuperate from surgery, then following up to make sure they have food, water & shelter every day from then on (I find caregivers within a couple blocks of colonies, don't feed other colonies besides the one on my porch myself).</p><p></p><p>A quote from Abe Lincoln "To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own"</p><p></p><p>I'm going to stick with therapy, and my woman's support group, also the employment and empowerment workshop. Also gonna continue to make a point of neutering every cat I come across... but I still need to meet a different class of people who I'm not meeting in mental health circles or crawling around in the bushes behind paint shops. </p><p></p><p>The best answer I can come up with right now is to cut my hair, put my make up on, put on a suit and get up to the courthouse on days don't have therapy or medical appts. Last night I was looking thru the annual report for my county animal shelter and some of those #s are inexcusable, unacceptable. There is a shelter director who needs to be replaced and several bills we (MI PACA) are trying to get passed. Who knows maybe a job offer will come out of it, I would make a great shelter director!</p><p></p><p>Not only do I need to fix what's broken inside me but feel a need to do something about what is broken in the society I live in; I understand its too big to fix myself but I can make a difference and help. Those animals need someone who cleans up well and can keep a cool head to speak for them; meanwhile I will be bumping elbows with high functioning successful people.</p><p></p><p>For those of you thinking "another project? she HAS lost her mind" please understand working is how I get unstuck, if I just sit here and over think things... like what is growing in Angel's neck? how to make a budget with no money in it work... I will never get unstuck.</p><p></p><p>thank you all again for your time, patience, wisdom and this soft place to land.</p><p></p><p>Nancy >^..^<</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 629651, member: 7170"] Thank you wise warriors, you all seem to "GET" me better then my family or friends do. I need to keep reminding myself this is a marathon not a sprint; I tend to want to look for the quick fix or just knee jerk things back into place and that isn't going to work this time. I realize now I just kept piling on more and more armor and instead of getting stronger I ended up so loaded down I couldn't move... I'm not a WWII tank that people are going to put a bench next to and make a park around with a bunch of memorials to fallen warriors. Oh world I'm not done with you yet and I've got to move before birds nest in my hair. Like I mentioned to my son several months ago "it's time for me to meet a different class of people" it's not that they are bad people they are just each broken (or severely bent) having met most of them when referred to me when they needed an advocate. Being able to accept people as they are without trying to change them I've become a magnet to people diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I believe an angel sent me that mother cat and her kittens last summer to replace my camping trip (6-8 wks every summer) and to call my attention to a problem, I can help with. It's very therapeutic trapping & hauling in cats for TNR, then giving them a safe space for a couple days to recuperate from surgery, then following up to make sure they have food, water & shelter every day from then on (I find caregivers within a couple blocks of colonies, don't feed other colonies besides the one on my porch myself). A quote from Abe Lincoln "To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own" I'm going to stick with therapy, and my woman's support group, also the employment and empowerment workshop. Also gonna continue to make a point of neutering every cat I come across... but I still need to meet a different class of people who I'm not meeting in mental health circles or crawling around in the bushes behind paint shops. The best answer I can come up with right now is to cut my hair, put my make up on, put on a suit and get up to the courthouse on days don't have therapy or medical appts. Last night I was looking thru the annual report for my county animal shelter and some of those #s are inexcusable, unacceptable. There is a shelter director who needs to be replaced and several bills we (MI PACA) are trying to get passed. Who knows maybe a job offer will come out of it, I would make a great shelter director! Not only do I need to fix what's broken inside me but feel a need to do something about what is broken in the society I live in; I understand its too big to fix myself but I can make a difference and help. Those animals need someone who cleans up well and can keep a cool head to speak for them; meanwhile I will be bumping elbows with high functioning successful people. For those of you thinking "another project? she HAS lost her mind" please understand working is how I get unstuck, if I just sit here and over think things... like what is growing in Angel's neck? how to make a budget with no money in it work... I will never get unstuck. thank you all again for your time, patience, wisdom and this soft place to land. Nancy >^..^< [/QUOTE]
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