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Parent Emeritus
Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 728671" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Laker, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry you find yourself in this difficult choice with your son. There are no easy answers. It's not hard to have our resolve shaken when confronted with another parent who is making the choice we likely are believing we SHOULD make as well. Then the guilt comes barreling in. Push the guilt aside for now and ask yourself what is it you truly want <em>and what you are willing to do without resentment. </em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>The big red flag for me in your quote is that he feels you have no right to expect him to respect your rules & boundaries. For that reason alone, I would not permit him returning to my home. It's not just the peace in your home you will forfeit, you forfeit yourselves to someone who doesn't respect you or your rules. And, he is also a "hard person to deal with." You already know exactly what is in store for you if he stays with you. </p><p></p><p>You said you had decided to not allow him to live with you for <em>your own well being</em> and that you are trying to come to terms with it. It sounds to me as if you already made the choice and then after you heard what the other mother said, you began second guessing your choice. Your well being matters. Your peace of mind matters. Your home as your sanctuary matters. You and your husband matter. Whatever you decide to do Laker, make you and your husband the priority....take care of yourselves. Do whatever you need to to ensure your well being stays intact. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, I know exactly how hard this is. Do what is best for YOU.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 728671, member: 13542"] Laker, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry you find yourself in this difficult choice with your son. There are no easy answers. It's not hard to have our resolve shaken when confronted with another parent who is making the choice we likely are believing we SHOULD make as well. Then the guilt comes barreling in. Push the guilt aside for now and ask yourself what is it you truly want [I]and what you are willing to do without resentment. [/I] The big red flag for me in your quote is that he feels you have no right to expect him to respect your rules & boundaries. For that reason alone, I would not permit him returning to my home. It's not just the peace in your home you will forfeit, you forfeit yourselves to someone who doesn't respect you or your rules. And, he is also a "hard person to deal with." You already know exactly what is in store for you if he stays with you. You said you had decided to not allow him to live with you for [I]your own well being[/I] and that you are trying to come to terms with it. It sounds to me as if you already made the choice and then after you heard what the other mother said, you began second guessing your choice. Your well being matters. Your peace of mind matters. Your home as your sanctuary matters. You and your husband matter. Whatever you decide to do Laker, make you and your husband the priority....take care of yourselves. Do whatever you need to to ensure your well being stays intact. I'm sorry, I know exactly how hard this is. Do what is best for YOU. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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